Wednesday, February 06, 2019

So Epic

Trailer: Once in a lifetime of sin, you meet somebody who is so nice that you started to believe in angels again. You can sin no more. You devote your life to God's will.

Or: The higher you fly, the closer you get to the sun, the bigger the fall when your wings melt, leaving you with a totally broken heart.

Major spoiler alert: I thought I got close to Margarette's heart finally after years of on and off. But she captured my heart and then shattered it into a thousand pieces, so fast so quick that she is a certified natural-born-heartbreaker. Maybe she doesn't even know that, naturally.

I don't know where to start. Yesterday, I texted Margarette trying to see her on the 14th. I never did that to anybody. In Chanel's time, I couldn't. And obviously, she couldn't too. We both have somebody and not much free time. There had been nobody else worth asking for. It could be awkward or you just need to pay more for some festivity feeling.

The girl with the perfect body did ask me to see her and accused me of having a competition more special than her. It could be fun but that was a few days before the 14th so I didn't repeat so soon.

 I didn't expect that I will get Margarette, but I will know her priorities. But I want what I want. Let see how she handles it. If she can't make me happy, I can always time her out and she will understand. I didn't expect success because the last time I wanted to book her, it was drama over almost a month until we finally met. But then she asked me out 6 days after that. I didn't know what to make of everything.

I wanted to wait closer to the 14th so it doesn't seem to be such a big deal if I fail. But I also want to give her more than one week notice. But I get on it sooner because I don't want to waste one more day wondering about the result. I even couldn't wait until the evenings that she would be starting her day. So I opened fired just after noon.

Me: Hey

I paused for dramatic effect. And I wanted to make sure that she is there to get my invite in real time. She was right there as if she was waiting for me to say something.

She: I quitted ............................

I never had such a drama over the phone. She's quitting all sins as if she doesn't know that gambling is a sin too. No escorting, no dancing, no sin. Because God is punishing her enough. She will do everything right from now on ... And then excuses or truth ...

I can believe her, but you need preacher's words to look good on the phone. I was so stunned. My heart was broken and broken further by each of her messages. I had thousands of questions in my head and millions of sad emojis in my heart but I couldn't type fast enough. I know I can't change anything so I wished her good luck and goodbye, a few times though.

But being me the Player, you know what I would do? Yes, instead of a long unposted letter, I messaged her a wall of text out of my stream of consciousness. I told her replying or even reading it is optional. You know how tedious it is to find anything significant in a wall of text. And I told her that we are good anyway.

She did reply, but cannot catch up with the wall of text. And I didn't care about her reply anyway. It doesn't good when she said she misses me. True or not it hurts more! But she did allow all messages to go through and never blocked me so far.  I am grateful when she can be crueler.

How cruel can it be? I know her for years. She disappeared on me twice already. I ran into her again by accident as if God is play games with me to punish me. I've been seeing her for a couple of months, getting better each time, so good that I gave up Chanel II when she turned up again. At the end of the year I finally got her private number I think. I saw her twice at her apartment, the best time so far. I start thinking that we will have a lot more beautiful time after that. And then the 14th approached. 

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