All about cocks

I never saw Helen again.  It's a case of having found a good one among ripoffs, but the next one should be better, for less and live down the road.  I did check up her website occasionally to see how she was.  Finally she got a boob job and have names for the girls.  Then she faded away.

It was a long time after Helen, perhaps more than a year, that I though of seeing someone like "her".  I wanted to see a beautiful cock and see if my happy memories come back.  But more importantly, what is attached to it is much more important.  For shemales I had higher standards, more beautiful and feminine than average escorts, more polished (as in makeover).  Cock is not that important but I would like to see a beautiful one just like Helen's.

Once I was in Hollywood so in a hurry I grabbed the phone number of a porn star with a website.  She had a couple of reviews spread over a long period, and the reviews were mixed.  I thought I could overcome that with my charm.

But I was wrong.  What the few spread over reviews meant was that occasionally someone may call her, which doesn't mean that she is good or bad.  The mixed reviews mean that either she find someone, or her supporters themselves wrote a good review for her to balance out the bad reviews.  If it's all bad nobody will call.

Anyway she greeted at her home in Hollywood among the flyovers.  She wasn't the goddess I saw in her front page.  She must had her website for a couple of years - that sort of paying porn site.  I didn't thought of that.  She did have more update pictures on the 2nd page or deeper.  So I couldn't complain.

But she did greeted me in a bikini with enhanced boobs.  She wasn't bad at all.  Not a goddess like but quite beautiful and feminine. 

Cocks didn't come into it.  I would imagine and fuck her like a beach babe.  I played with her cock a bit but not like at Helen's, when evolution didn't prepare me for.  The shemaleness only come about when it's decision time, me on top or bottom, she asked.  I'm opened minded but I couldn't resist to be on top.  And she wouldn't allow two shots, one for me and one for her.  To this date I'm still a virgin, back there.

Once her ad pop-up in front of my face.  I couldn't resist to see if she was that beautiful.  Indeed you cannot tell at all if she wasn't a 100% woman.  After some foreplay I kissed on her cheek gently.  She turned and looked at me as if saying "what the heck are you doing!". 

Actually she had a nice cock.  With her standing up next to the bed, I knelt down and sucked away.  Not earth shaking as Helen's (which I didn't remember much), but I enjoyed it.  She said I was good, and I knew she meant it.  She's a straight talker who didn't talk much.  But I think we all have natural talents, just do what we want to be done on.

Came to think about it, cocks don't normally come into it because how many woman escorts you made them excited for real?  For these girls, if they didn't have an erections, I wouldn't have noticed and would have treated them as a woman.  This girl was somehow excited during foreplay, got a decent erection, so I noticed and play some more.

Also, I tried sucking with a raincoat.  It was totally a turn off with the smell of rubber.  I understand Emma, the orally fixated, who never asked me to put any rubber on before she played her cat and mouse game.  She would kill your cock but let it live at the last minute, so she could play another round, and another.

She led me onto the doggy position without asking.  But I was too tight for her to get anywhere.  So she had to do bottom.  After that, she told me her other name to differentiate me from other callers.  Her "what the hell are you doing" look disappeared and she was smiling while putting her clothes back on.

It was she who I thought of teaming up to fuck Chanel until she had multiple orgasms.  I would enjoy watch so I wouldn't mine paying.  I would have thought the bottleneck would be Chanel.  But this "girl" turn me flat down. No girls for her.

Crossing the line

Once upon a time, my beginner's luck was running out.  Ripoff after ripoff.  The more reviews I followed, the more money I put in, the further away was the teen model look that I was used to.

Then I came across Helen's picture in some unusual places.  Not an ounce of overweight.  Slim with great legs.  The silky long hair and the glasses closed the deal.  If I go for something like this in an ad, it must be a ripoff.

Helen was a struggling porn star, temporarily available for escort.  It was probably true.  If she wasn't needing to pay the rent, she would have preferred to do plenty of her other things, like writing, porn scripting, AIM counseling. 

I can't possibly drive all the way to Studio City so I paid good money for her to meet me in my local Hilton.  The room bell rang.   With great expectation and anxiety, what did I found?  At the peep hole, I saw the classic ripoff posture!  Hand high up resting on the door after knocking, and supporting her full body as if she was tired.  Head looking down, body bending down a bit, legs spread, lowering her body.  Long hair blocking all her face.

There are more to these postures, like ready to push in given half the chance.  But the main thing is that I can't see any of her face.  She was wearing full track suit and running shoes, which was rather unusual.  So I couldn't see any of her because of her loose outfit.

Luckily she had great abs.  I think she unzipped her track suit top just before she ranged the bell.  Because of her posture, I can't even see what bra she was wearing.  But I can see her awesome abs.  I'm sure she worked hard for it, but absolutely nothing muscular.

I opened the door for her.  It was some other beginner's luck.  Her hair was not as long but I didn't notice or care much.  Her legs was just as great in the picture and even better.  The picture was probably old, in her teens, so now in her late twenties she grew slightly more meat.  So her legs were sexier in person.  For the same reason her butt was awesome. 

By this time she was undressed down to her throng.  I could see the porn star treatment she gave herself on her body.  Natural plus hard work and great care.  Almost flawless.  But perhaps due to some hormone treatment, her face is far from perfect, and she couldn't apply lots of makeup to cover it up.  She looked like thirty something plain house wife.  But to be fair, I remembered that there was a current picture of her like this in her website.  So I can't blame her.

So she was standing straight, awesomely semi naked in her thong and her bare feet.  She was very sexy like that and she knew it.  But the reason her feet was cut off from the picture because it wouldn't look good.  Her feet wasn't that small.  But they wasn't big enough for me to notice, and her great legs distracted me anyway.

She knew how to read people, like most escorts.  She asked if she should take off her thong, or leave it like that.  Of course not.  The plan was to keep her thong on like that in the picture.  I saw her bottomless picture on her website.  It wasn't bad but my plan was for her to keep her thong on.

She was a she-male or TS porn star.  At the time I still didn't like hard core porn because I didn't like watching pennis close up all the time.  For $400 (I think) she looked way better than many well reviewed for the same price.  And without extra I could have anal.

Physically anal gave more bang for your balls, and so does spoon.  But many girls will only allow you at her back side doing anything, only if she knows you well.  And anal is more natural for some positions, like flat on the bed, belly down.

I was that much calculating, and that much open-minded.  Before that I remembered clearly I saw a naked she-male on a TV documentary.  A very beautiful blond "woman" just happened to have a dick, a superior woman on every inch except for that.  Any repulsive feeling vaporized with that perfect body (probably enhanced).  The shock value made me remember that TV scene to this day.

Helen had similar effect on me.  Her face wasn't that pretty.  But feminine.  Together with her soft feminine voice, I felt at ease.  I saw picture of her dick.  I don't like to see any dicks.  It was very considerate of her to leave it on for me.  I couldn't  keep my eyes off her legs.

It was a lesson for for orientation and the female body.  She had great waist and butt.  But her natural "breast" was crap.  I thought I like small chest and even flat chest.  I don't mind them all.  But a female chest is different, no matter how flat.  I though I would like Helen's chest but it wasn't at all stimulating.  It wasn't repulsing but I left them alone after trying to appreciate them.

Then I went on to do the body massage on her, with lips and tongue.  She happily turned over to the massage position, face down.  At $400, her flawless backside was a bargain.

After checking out all over her backside, I concentrated on her butt.  I was lying between her spread legs, face on her butt.  So bouncy it could be fake but I doubt it very much.  She didn't even have fake breast yet.

I wasn't into any rimming yet.  I kept on kissing her butt, moving her thong aside when it's obstructing.  Then I moved further and further down between her legs, into her G-spot, pulling her thong aside all the way.  I spread her legs wider and wider and she was very cooperative.

All of a sudden, some strange urge and craving overcame me.  I moaned, or so I remembered.  It was like rimming that girl for the first time.  She put her ass right into my face.  It was so attractive that all of a sudden I lost any inhibition.  Then I kissed, licked, and couldn't have enough of her ass at the time.

I might not be vocal, but I felt like moaning when my tongue dug more and more between her legs, in the delicate areas, dangerously near her balls.

All of a sudden, I lost all inhibition.  I pulled down her thong and turned her over.  I couldn't bear it anymore.  If I lose appetite and my $400, so be it.

I surprised myself again.  I don't even like big bad cocks in porns.  But I liked what I see.  I told you she took care of herself well, every inch of her.  She had a clean cut head, pinkish.  Her whole shaft was pale and you could easily see that it was flawless too.  She was also perfectly shaved with pinkish balls.

It was more than that.  My considerable oral stimulation made her erect.  Her cock wasn't that thick, so it wasn't intimidating.  It was pinkish cute.  But she was longer than me, about eight inches maybe.

So it was like a long carrot dangling right in front of my face.  Rather than repulsed by it,  I get closer to examine it more.  I couldn't resist to kiss her cute pink head a little.  Then I nibbled and sucked a little here and there.  And sooner than you think, I put her head into my mouth and sucked like in a porn movie.  I couldn't believe it.

After I recovered from the trance, I remembered what I came here for.  I came to fuck her ass.  Cooperatively she turned over, back to the massage position with her legs wide spread.  Before that she carefully on the cover for me, and double checked.  She was from AIM after all.

At 5'7, she was about the perfect size.  With high efficiency, my downward thrust got transferred into her ass, and became good resistive force against my cock.  If her lower body was too small, you couldn't get deep inside in that face down position.  If her lower body was bigger, it became a hindrance to penetration.

After I came, we talked a bit.  Very relaxed because she knew I was totally into her, every bit, except perhaps for her breasts.  She regretted to drive all the way to me.  The traffic was horrible that I warned her before.  I thought she knew better.  But she didn't.  She welcomed me to her Studio City flat any time, and it would be only $300.

Like a good counselor (AIM), she advised me to practice with cucumber myself before seeing her next time.  It sounded natural at the time because it would be something I would try.  But remember that a moment ago I wasn't even prepared to see her dick!

With hind sight, I think it could be a hint.  I think she wanted to fuck me there and then.   Because I clearly remembered that before we said goodbye, she had difficulty putting her erect cock back into her tiny thong.  It would be a comfortable thing to do if she fucked me.   But women and she-males alike, she couldn't just offer an extra fuck for free.  Even for regulars they have to find a good reason to offer deep discounts, so they may be able to hold the normal price when they no longer need to offer discounts.

I learned a few things.  That sexual orientation can be discovered, but can't be changed.  I am only attracted to a woman's breasts, no matter how flat they are.  Even if they are beautiful enhanced, they have to fit in with the rest of the body.  I understand oral fixation.  I probably have one.  But it has to be a beautiful woman plus a beautiful cock.  A beautiful feminine woman is so much more important that I don't care much about cocks, with or without.  And I still haven't practiced with cucumber, thought I have no problem with the idea of being fucked by a beautiful "woman".

I didn't see Helen again because of the traffic.  And because I was afraid that I would be addicted and spent a lot of money; same threat for any escorts.

Much later, I did try to find someone else to repeat the Helen experience.  After disappointments, I came to the conclusion that it's much easier to find a beautiful woman without any extra.  And I'm perfectly happy with that.  Until a pretty picture pops up, that reminded me of Helen.

Once I see the beautiful picture of another, and met her.  It was far from ground shaking as the first time, but she was OK, may be even prettier than Helen.  And since she had a good size cock, I thought of asking her to fuck my other "girl friend" together.  I wanted to see my "girl friend" all sweaty after multiple orgasms.  But I hate to see other naked men, or their cocks.  So I though of her, even though I have to pay her as well.

But she turned me down flat.  That reinforced what  I learned, and busted a few urban legends.  A real she-male, not desperate in need of money, do not like girls.  They naturally like men, and they like to be a woman, but they also like their cock.  Any other combination will not be logical.  Apply the law of natural selection, if they don't like to be a woman, they will be homosexual, isn't it?  Any pre-op, post-op classification is a joke.  Some are indeed a woman trapped in a man's body.  I have a friend that went through the operation to become a total woman at middle age, and I had no idea knowing "him" for decades.  Real she-males are happy with their cocks, and proud of them.  They are not going to get rid of it any time soon.