Saturday, June 18, 2022

A very dark day

 I first got Valentine at 10 pm. I was very happy. But when I drove into the hotel parking lot, one gate was open. I thought I got a freebie. But when I got out, I realized the mistake. Basically, I'm as good as losing my ticket. I have to pay the max rate which is $28. I just paid it as I was happy and I wanted to get home quick.

She came out to work again after a day's rest. It was a bit sudden. I would have to do it Mon, Wed, Fri. I was worried about my performance. I decided against it. But she said she would work Sat too.

I had morning wood when I woke up. How convenient. So I sent her a message saying that I will have her when she starts the day.  I was thinking she slept late so she would be waking up and see me first. 

She would be ready at noon. She probably had some overflow bookings the day before. But she couldn't have seen a lot before noon.

So I prepared for the over an hour drive. I have a hunch she won't be back for a while after working the whole week. I didn't want to wait that long.

So far so great. If not for the morning wood, I would not have booked her. I didn't charge the camera battery. I struggled to find the charger, in the garage full of things like I just moved in with zero organization. Everything seems to be that I have seen it somewhere before but not where I expected. Luckily I found it. But then the plug is foreign. I think I threw away the adaptor not long ago. After trying to find an adaptor, I decided to cut off and swap the plug. Obviously, the charge isn't full when I had to go. I should have charged the half-full battery instead of the completely dead battery. So I decided to bring the whole thing and charge it in the hotel if the need arises.

The big mistake was that I had only 20 miles of range left on the car battery. I never thought of that when I changed my mind this morning. That was last night. It's like 14 miles this morning. It's very tight to go the supercharger on the way and there will be a long wait there on Sat. So I went to a slow charger 8 miles 18 minutes away.  Then I charged like 5 to 10 minutes to get enough charge to get to a fast charger in the opposite direction 10 miles away. It shouldn't need much time to charge to 80 miles that I need for the trip with enough spare.  But I over-relaxed like I always do on charging stations. I got to 120 miles wasting some time.

I told Valentine that I will be late. And that I will be leaving on time and pay in full, diplomatically. She asked me how late. I said 20 min but probably 30. Then I thought that she may be trying to slip another client in. I gave her options to add another half hour, or cancel me if you have other bookings. She explained to me that she is fully booked and the options won't work.

Also, I ordered a pair of bright, portable, studio lights with floor-standing tripods just for her. But it will arrive a day late. 

Now the race starts. I got into a toll road that I don't use that often. I was speeding up, getting to the fast lane. Then I saw a patrol car. I thought I braked fast enough but I saw the cops start their car. Then they pulled me over. A ticket.

They must be using radars. I haven't gotten a ticket this way for years! If it's that easy why don't they use it more often? And if I know that they still use radar, new or old tech, I could have brought a radar detector.

Money isn't really all of the problems. I don't want my driving record to look too bad. The current problem is that I will be terribly late if you can call that. 

I told Valentine that I will be able to make it before the end of my session to pay her in full. She sent me emoji's saying oh no, we have only a few minutes! But I think she was laughing.

I was hoping I still have 5 minutes, or she would give me five minutes to get off. For some reason, I'm horny all the way thinking about her.

But first, I had to get the money. The charging was the priority at the beginning; there's no other things more important. There's a gas station across the intersection. I got the money in one withdrawal instead of 3 in some other gas station ATMs previously, charging me 3 times as much and wasting 3 times the time.

When I crossed to the hotel entrance, the visitor parking is at the back of the block. It's underground. It's big. I couldn't park too close to the entrance; that's for valets. So I rushed with my camera to the escalator and texted Valentine, what do I do?

Unfortunately, it's 4 min past my session end time. She said her next client called her and he's now going up. But I could come back one and a half-hour later. If I can't, it sucks to be me. Of course, I'll wait. I could have written a story wasting 2 hours. I prepared for the worst; she could open a slit at the door and demand the money. I don't even have 5 min to jerk off. My main worry is my promise of paying in full - one hour plus video. I will honor that even if I never see her again. But I want to see her again.

I also had hope because she seemed to be leaving at 3 pm. It's odd but that's how she set up her bookings. I may have some time with her rather than just paying her for nothing.

I started relaxing. Very relaxed, very excited the whole morning. First, I had an important letter to mail. The post office is nearby. But the parking is impossible. There's road closure for some events. I had to park in some parking structure and walk to the post office. But then I found a meter on the side of the street; one vacant out of hundreds. Then I figured out that I had to install an app, complete the two-step verification, and enter all details of my credit card to pay 41 cents.

After all that, I had an emergency. The raw fish that I ate yesterday started talking to me. I had to give up 41 cents immediately to find a toilet. The guy in the first gas station told me that the bathroom is out of service. I had a $5 bill in hand but he surprised me. I  pointed to the bathroom to say I am going there. I didn't see any sign. Maybe he wanted to get rid of me because it's for customers only. If I didn't see the bathroom first I would have asked him with the bill in hand. It's a bit awkward for both of us if I try to bride him now.

Then I go to the next gas station on the map. Fuck. The right turn is closed or it's one-way anyway. I looped back but can't find the way. I started the map again and found one. I asked the woman and she pointed to the bathroom. What a relief. The bathroom is tolerable. Unfortunately, my pants got dirty. I wiped it with tissue paper and got on my way. I don't usually get that bad. But I had diarrhea a few days ago for two days non-stop. I don't feel bad but it just doesn't stop for 2 days. I picked up a can of code and left $5 on the table walking away. I should have let the woman scan the can.

I got back to the hotel 7 minutes before 2:30pm. I would love to arrive earlier in case her client leaves early, before the next one comes up. I texted her but now I don't have a cell signal. It happened that the signals are very different for the parking spaces. I moved and got a signal without going outside. But then I decided to go up to the lobby for a sure signal. 

That's when she texted me that she needed 15 minutes. Why she needs 15 minutes when she could have opened a slit at the door and got the full payment? That's when she told me I have 30 minutes. A lot better than 5 minutes that I hoped for. And indeed she is leaving at 3 pm.

When I saw her it was anti-climax. She didn't seem to know what happened. OK, usually I would have been talking to the booker all the time. But it's unprofessional to use heart emojis to fool me! Fuck you! I still have time to setup the camera. She only knew that I was given 30 minutes, and that she checked if I was paying for the video too before I brought out the camera. I did pay in full.

I did a quick rinse for the dirt and decided to leave my underpants there forever. Why I didn't think about that earlier?

BTW, she wore a cute little lacy black sock to match her mask, rather than the knee-length white lingerie socks last time.

I did about the same things last time but fewer and quicker. I finished with time to spare. When the maid knocked I packed my things and left after tipping her some more. She had a positive reaction then. 

Then I got a space right before the dropbox in front of the post office. It should have been a space for mailing letters. But someone parked on it when I came earlier.

Then  I charged the car. It didn't take long to get 100 miles to go back home. Any more will cost twice as much at the time instead of the low night rate.

I start to return home when the traffic is heavy. Sad. So I have all the time to think about the ticket, the fine, my driving record, all the things I didn't have time to do to her, wasting the whole day and a lot of money. But I am happy to see her instead of going home empty-handed. I had decent sperm donation in the condom too. Not bad for 3 days a week.

Valentine is so cute but lacks character so far. Even the reserved madam will wish me to get my phone back. My favorite is just so GFE. Talks but not too much. Do a lot of things. Her pictures look so much better and her natural girls are growing on me even though they are too big for my taste. The problem is that she is a bit elusive. She advertises early in the morning and works until lunch. If I book her after I finish my rituals, I will be her last client of the day. It's a terrible thought when she is fully booked.

But then I am sure I was Valentine's last client twice in a roll now.

Thursday, June 16, 2022

Without love making, you and me are just flowing ants

 Last week, it was time to do it. There's not much of a selection so I waited until the next Monday. The star attraction came up at the right time so I hit her.

She wasn't my type but I ran into her before just like this occasion. But I feel the difference holding her in the spoon position. She doesn't do much. No DFK and doesn't like me to pay attention to her behind. She doesn't talk much. But I like the refinement. When I seemed to lose my phone, she would say I hope you find your phone after I was done. And that was it. I felt she cared, lol, as a client. I did perform well.

For some reason, I wanted more. One is the usual, that after you whetted your appetite, you want to eat more and more. The other is the med that is still in the system. A bigger cock.

I could have done it the next day if something right came up. But I could afford to be picky since I already had the appetizer. Then my Valentine came up. My only reservation is that I may draw blank since I had only a day's rest. 

She was new perhaps last year. She seems to be a Scottish redhead with pale skin. She seems to have a little baby fat and is heavier than a spinner. But I love her breasts. It's rare that girls bare them in pictures. Those who showed it are too big for my taste even if natural. And all the piercings and tattoos. Her pictures aren't high resolution so I can zoom in on her nipples. But I can bet on that.

The other reservation is her strange pricing and a long no list. She is about half the price of the star attraction. But she does video. That's a no-brainer. There's something to show for it - I'm not just a flowing ant.

I always hate the Hyatt near Disney. The many times I went in and out of it, it seems to be a near 5 star hotel. The entrance is huge and paved with fancy stones. It's big inside with a big parking lot outside. I hate it because of the bigness of it. 

It's a long way from the parking lot across the ballrooms to the lobby and to the elevators.  Once I wore a beach flip-flop and it took forever. And unfortunately, I gave the girl the wrong stack of cash. She discovered it when I left. I got her message only when I returned to my car. So I had to walk all over again to her room and back to my car. It took so long that she threatened me for scamming her.

Somehow she was hard to book. My turn was in the late evenings so I had time to search for the floor plan of Hyatt. Then I discovered that there is a possible shortcut to the lifts without going through the lobby. And I was right. Now I love it. I can wear anything at any time.

Unfortunately, the parking lot is full at this time. I had to park on the far side of the lot. I got straight to the lifts but there is a long line spreading into the lobby. There was a short wait but I didn't have my mask on for the full lifts.

I know people love Disney hotels and those near the other theme park. You can wear anything and lost in the crowd any time in the day, have visitors any time in the day. But it feels a little cheap. I always think this is like a 4 to 5 star hotel. I always park near the ballroom entrance during the day. And it's very quiet in the daytime too. But at night it's very different.

When I met her it was a pleasant surprise. Now I realized that she is the same type as my own porn star, Lane. A rag doll with a delicate body. New, naive, but rough and ready.

I was thinking she would greet me in Valentine's lingerie. And that I would have to check her bare breasts before putting up the video money. But she was naked so I had no worries. 

She left the door open. When I got in she was still in the bathroom probably shaving. Maybe redheads have a lot of leg hair. That reminds me of girls, "Oh, someone booked me! Shaving time." Or, "Oh, I got a VIP session. I need to shave!" But it wouldn't work. Maybe hairy legs are sexier. Having silky legs is a long process and you need the effort to keep it up. 

Some girls piggyback on other's hotel rooms. That's how they started without a lot of bookings. That's how I met Lane. But when she had enough client to be on her own, she discovered that without a credit card she couldn't get a room. So I had to go with her to the front desk to pay and sign something. On rare occasions, I do pay for motel rooms and leave them to my trusted girls. But I don't worry about bad things that could happen on big hotels. I just wanted to finish and disappear. I never saw her after that. I got my videos of several sessions. Her face isn't pretty enough to be my ATF. Her teen body is perfect. Immortal in my videos.

I was surprised at how unprepared or how unrefined she was. She wasn't new. Maybe she wasn't fully booked after all. She had to ask if the room was available before taking my appointment.

Once I saw her breasts, we were talking about camera positions. She wasn't worried about it but insisted on wearing a mask that she put on the classified. I wasn't worried about that; I worry about it coming off, limiting our movements and actions. How do we even kiss?

But we already kissed when I came in since she was naked. She wasn't into it so there's no problem. Before I could start my cameras, she went into the bathroom for minutes again for the mask. Why?

I was flabergasted when she came out. I was thinking about surgical masks as in TikTok. She came out with the cheapest but sexiest Venetian Masquerade mask.

Her pictures in the classified are all hers, at most a year old, probably current. She looks a lot cuter in person without mask on. She looks smaller, a lot more like a schoolgirl without the baby fat.

I was sitting at the end of the bed so she couldn't go anywhere when she got out of the bathroom. I grabbed her and sucked away while she was standing. I took my time. But when I finished her left and then her right, I couldn't go back to the left when she pulled out.

She made up for it when she suddenly kneeled down giving me a blowjob. It wasn't a blowjob. She was brushing her teeth with a thick toothbrush. That was when I remembered to turn on my phone camera for closeups. The stimulation and the visual part of it went off the charts. I could come just like that. But I had too many things still to do on camera.

That's when she discovered the bee sting med on my cock. She asked me about it but I blamed it on hand sanitizers getting onto it when I stimulated myself. She did see me holding my cock when she came out of the bathroom. I always rinse my cock before BBBJ. But I also checked that there is no strange smell and taste (possibly) if I don't. On this occasion, we all know that we don't have any clean towels. So I skipped that. This time, I had to go into the shower and washed it thoroughly before coming out for more toothbrushing. She did it like robotic clockwork.

I lifted her up and put her sitting on the bed. It was my turn to kneel down and lick her pussy. I can go on and on with a teen pussy, or the feeling of it. I licked her thighs too. But she refused to take off her knee-length sock. It must be the incomplete shaving. I didn't mind because it was like part of some lingerie.

Then I flipped her to lie flat on the bed. I licked her butt, her ass and her tights. And her back too. I just love redheads with delicate skin. She just laid there, perfect. She took care to hold the phone camera when I was eating her pussy. But I didn't have enough hands to hold the camera when I was licking her ass. When I was done, got up, saw her lovely ass again at some distance, I dived down again for a lot more.

It happened that I was standing at the end of the bed. She moved forward so I could fuck her standing. She seemed to be afraid of thick cocks. I kept asking myself, "she isn't new, is she?". It would be perfect if she kisses. But she gave it all, wide legging spreading without any possibility of a defensive move. 

I signaled her to turn over. She thought it was a doggy and I entered as such. But very soon I was flat ironing her on a thick pillow. Perfect again. It was slightly uncomfortable because of the high pillow. But the full cock contact was super. I still came a lot, not bad as I did the day before yesterday.

I laid flat on the bed to recover. She went to sleep. I could hear her breath. She didn't move a bit until after I rinsed and dressed. I will certainly go back for her. She has the face, the body, and the price range to be my new ATF. But I have a hunch that girls like her will come and go quickly. A year seems to be about right.

Monday, June 13, 2022

A story for the chronicles

 Last time I forget that my ATM card was frozen. It's about the worse thing that I have to tell the booker that I have no cash. I did get cash when the bank opens, the same time as my appointment. But the booker abandoned me at the last moment. I wish he did earlier. No complaint.

So this time all my mind was on the cash and my wallet and which ATM to get to.

I forget my phone when I got there! That's about the 2nd worst thing. I cannot commit the worst two offenses in the lastest two appointments. And just disappear and call the booker half an hour later to explain.

Lucky, it's a private apartment. Same building. Same room. I couldn't remember which room.

The problem is, many ladies and bookers had been operating that way for years - Koreans, Chinese, any other nationalities, and any setups.

I was lucky to remember the building. I'm sure I've been to a few at least. They all looked familiar. They are exactly the same in a big complex with different numbers.

So I walked around on the 3rd floor to remember which room. 3rd is the top so I can't forget.

The first few rooms are not. Our apartments are always well hidden with the least foot traffic. Either it has some odd decorations or minimal. It may be at a bad corner or next to the lift or utility room so rent is cheaper. There's no lift. 

I remember an apartment on its own on a short corridor with the door deeply recessed into the walls. But there's no such apartment in this building.

One apartment has only the matt on the outside. I may have picked it if it says welcome. But it says something else that is not special. But I think it's too customized.

There is an apartment with two small fake Christmas trees. They are not supposed to be Christmas trees because it's very slim to be able to put on two sides of the entrance. This could be it but there's another apartment with one Christmas tree.

One apartment seems to be tugged aside where nobody cared. But thee's not even a doorbell button. One apartment has a ring camera.

By the process of elimination, the most likely one is the two Christmas tree one, with a plain doorbell, by the corner, with a doormat saying something like, yah! you found it.

I stand back a little by the door, tidy up my hair and expensive aviator glasses, ready to press the bell. I won't be surprised if the door opens. Once a teen girl opened the door while she was home alone. She opened it as the most natural thing to do. No alarm. No hesitation. I mixed up the room number.

The door did open. That doesn't mean I was right. But the person was hiding behind the door. That is what I need to see that I'm right. They always do that, not wanting neighbors or nosy persons to see who they are and what they are wearing.

So I just walked in confidently. I was surprised that my girl shrank a lot. The teen hiding behind the door was totally naked and felt at ease being naked in front of me. Honestly, I didn't know what I was thinking. "Sasha?", I asked her. Maybe they are doing a bait and switch today. Honestly, I won't be surprised as Sasha is supposed to be very hard to book. She has been pulling her classified after an hour or two putting them up.

Honestly, I prefer this small girl, a teen with small natural tits when everything checks out totally naked. I was hoping she says yes and hoping that she is actually Sasha. But then she realized the mistake and I told her I dropped my phone. She didn't tell me what to do. She knocked Sasha's room while I walked into the living room trying to be unseen. But then the other gentleman arrived knocking at the door. I was trying to hide in the corner of the living room.

I heard she apologized to Sasha, who told her it wasn't her fault. Meanwhile, she walked totally naked around the house. I heard that Sasha is lake the madam. The apartment was her lease to make big money.

I was thinking that they were doing some sort of VIP club for high-value clients. But then it wasn't. The other girl put up her classified half an hour later so I didn't notice that two ladies were working at the time.

As for Sasha, she is mid twenties in her prime. Normally for escorts, she may be too old to compete with the teens. But Sasha has nicer skin and a nicer body. She seems to be more refined if she has time to prepare. I felt the difference when I was holding her for a spoon. She doesn't even DFK so there's no point to mission her. Her boobs are big and hang well. There's something wrong with the nipples but they don't turn me off.

For sasha, I need someone with an attractive face and attractive body to lick and suck and fuck. She satisfies all that and with a nice BBBJ to get me hard.

Where are they now?

 Caroline the teen model put herself on the market again after a few years. Sad. She now claims to be 35.

I met her when she was about 30. Little did I know she has a borderline eating disorder. Her breast is small and natural. She has legs. She knows how to make over and act a little. And so she looked like a teen model in a bikini. 

But seeing her for a while, she is pretty but her nose is a bit odd. Maybe just a little too big or possibly a bad nose job. Her short hair looks good if she styles my way. But her hair may be too damaged. To look good she has to kill it some more. Now she shaved her hair recently. This is the 2nd person ever I have seen being an escort with completely shaved.

Seeing her on the social media account that she gave me, she is too punk for my taste when she wasn't escorting. She sometimes puts on her trendy nose ring. Sometimes she got freebies for hair and makeover for photo shooting but it's very away from a delicate teen model.

She could still make herself pretty but her house seems to be belonging to a bag lady. She has some space and a bookshelf too. But her makeup desk is the tiniest in a dark corner full of junk. Her multiple plastic sheet closets everywhere and in the kitchen to store all her clothes for all possible occasions. A stack of 20 scarfs hanging on the bathroom rod.

Things were looking when she had a new boyfriend that is her classmate in kindergarten or elementary school. There seemed to be ups and downs but she met her parents and even went on a foreign vacation.

It saddens me that she came out to escort again at 35 with a completely shaved head.


Chanel 2 retired, claimed to be married, and disappeared from social media. It's a bit sudden when she always says network is more important than net worth. When she was outed, she would hide the account as private a bit and then come back. She cannot abandon her followers. I also know that she doesn't have a boyfriend long enough for that. Her situation is a big challenge for any boyfriend. Without knowing that it will work long-term, just finding a guy to marry seems to be risky.

Chanel is different. We had gone through so many ups and downs for years. If it dawned on me that I wanted to marry her and I am available, that will work. I only know at the time it will be painful without her.

She showed people half a million-dollar cash to deposit into her bank. She has admirers and haters. It's terrible if someone outed her casually but with so many haters. Rich daddies aren't going to pay big bucks to see her when she sees everybody for a few hundred.

When her buddy retired, she told me she should be also looking at exit strategies. She once played cam girl on --- Paypal! She streamed on IG and ask her follower to tip her on paypal.

Her last thing on her IG, and the only thing left, is a link to a porn video that was deleted. 

She was never outstanding with beauty. She is flat and tall enough to be a model. She isn't that sexy. But if you want to outdo other girls on a yacht, ask her to come in full gear. Most girls will be disasters putting on expensive labels all over.


Daisy the school girl never liked herself since she was a child. She is a loner too. Maybe a big poor family with lots of siblings. She got out of it through escorting. But she never liked her face and her body. That explains her heavy makeup whenever I saw her.

Once she has the money, she went for a nose job and a boob job and perhaps something else. That perfect school girl was gone. Even before the boob job, her body turned into a stripper while I wasn't noticing. She is hot now but I never liked her makeup, nor Chanel 2 did.

Once I PM her try to tell her who I am. She blocked me but did not delete me. I deleted myself to avoid being a nuisance again. But you know, one day she appeared on my suggestion list. I couldn't resist following her again. The strange thing is, her makeup changed slowly. She feels like the girl in Roger Rabbit. I actually like her face in some of her pictures.

And she seems to be doing fine.

Wednesday, March 02, 2022

The new era 2

 Not so fast. Just when I think I can throw out a lot of stuff in the garage, I found the box of music cassette tapes!

Do you know what is cassette tapes? How sentimental. I recorded two after being rejected by my first crush. She was in my mind for years and so are the two tapes, with me for many lonely lights. She wasn't on my mind since a long time ago. I can take a picture of them, trash them, and move on. 

One was made for me by a friend who happened to be her brother. BMFs don't try to be nice to each other but he did that when I visited home from far away. I appreciated that because I sort of miss the culture back home. If I throw it away I will probably forget all about it, even if I take a picture. I lost touch with my old friends and I don't expect to have reunions. We'll be busy with our grandkids anyway. But I won't have the same feeling that I have when I discovered something long forgotten in the garage.

There are tapes from Mrs Player. I'll keep that. It was her who doesn't like to listen to those classics again, now that everything is streamable on the internet.

There are some commercial tapes from my idols, who were long dead! Maybe they are worth something. People make money by organizing concerts for 10 year anniversary after their death. I have no problem trashing them. They live on the internet and their voice is better than the cover on their tapes.

Mrs Player also has an old high school diary and yearbook messages. I wouldn't have that sort of thing on paper. I have the internet and multiple identities.

Old maps. I threw them away without thinking. We don't need them ever again when we have mobile phones. But then when you are holding the piece of paper, you can almost time travel back in time, in space, back to the spot where you were. Happy times. Happy place. But since we have pictures and videos while we were traveling, they can go to the trash after taking pictures.

The problem is the box of video cassette tapes! I had been preparing for ages to convert them. I never had the mood to. I was fussy about what coding is best, what medium to use. But now I will be happy if the machine I kept still works and the tapes still work. If you can find people to convert it, it will be expensive and risky. But the NTSC and PAL standards are still alive because it's very simple for cameras to output a signal and two power wires instead of a digital bus.

Wow, the collection of jewelry and watch catalogs. The best money can buy. Mrs Player got them in person. Together with exotic vacation catalogs. Those things that you can find on the coffee table of a premium resort hotel.

If you decorate your home with wall of books, those will be what Mrs Player put up, lol. When I retreated from my workplace, I need spaces fast to put my things from the office. Those are the obvious things to go. But she was very reluctant. I had to hide them gradually but kept them in case she went crazy.

Books. A lot are hers. I kept her postgraduate textbooks in case she needed them later. But she is more inclined to read management for dummies. I also don't need my books. But some are obscure publications with my name hidden somewhere inside. The internet has records of everything but not all those. And the internet memory is limited when everybody forgets about it. I thought it would be easier to tell my kids and grandkids what I did. Maybe.

I also rediscovered my thesis together with the floppy disks of the word processor. I had been looking for those many years ago to archive it. Now in theory the disks might just work.

Tuesday, March 01, 2022

Still got it

 There was an occasion and Mrs Player showed herself off and dressed me up as well. But my usual outfits for the occasion were gone or didn't fit anymore. So I picked a jacket after trying several; out of many, Mrs Player picked the top and pants that I brought and shipped from China for cheap. She said that they aren't bad if you cover the labels, pockets, and some design details.

The reception was great. I wouldn't know but Mrs Player was pleased and claimed credit, even though I brought them myself.

Watching a movie, I remembered how sought-after I was. I matched all the checklists. Parents wanted to introduce their daughter to me. I picked Mrs Player. She was cute. I came 3 times once. I had no idea that she wasn't that interested in sex and chose early retirement, lol.

But I wonder if looking for true love is that great. Some lyrics you know are obviously written by females, crying all night, need a lifetime to heal.

In the assassin movie, the old getaway driver has a regular, a paid lover. She is GFE but he doesn't do much. If he does he may have trouble breathing. Once he took some stimulants; he almost died in bed and ended up in the hospital. 

He asked her to marry him but she rejected him, telling him to find somebody more mature, lol. When she announced that she is going to retire soon and get married, he was angry. She tried to comfort him; he said his last lover told him the same things. He left but returned days later to offer some cash for a wedding gift.

There is this angelic college girl that I noticed since last year. Unforgettable. While others may wear jeans or very casual outfits, she wears a body-hugging dress showing off her legs. And she feels at ease. Her body is like one of the stick figures in TikTok that I don't really fancy. But in the flesh, she is my ideal body type. But being with her all day face to face, I noticed that her face isn't as ideal as I thought. Like her elder sister about the same age has a more movie-star looking face with only casual makeup if any. But she is obviously bulkier. She may have a killer body in a bikini but I like her little sister more.

In their eyes, we are apparently somebody to look up to.  We still get the looks. Great kids. A moderate big house that their generation can only dream of, in a neighborhood that money cannot buy. There are few places in the nation like that.

Monday, February 28, 2022

The new era

 Almost lost the password. Had to go back to Lastpass to retrieve it. It was the one that still works.

After several failed new year resolutions, I finally managed to start removing some stuff in the garage. I realized that I can trash the whole shelf of papers. I'm certain I won't need them anymore. Those were my works. Some academic collections and some papers that I stole from my employers. It wasn't some secret. I can learn something new that interests me while having nothing better to do.

But after so many years, I'm not going back to that. I can always take some new courses that interest me if I choose to.

I happened to come across a movie that pop up on my Netflix. It was an ex-assassin gang who regrouped to kill people who wanted to die. Some are too old and too lonely to want to live that I understand. One is a wife who has no more money for medical bills. Her husband popped into her room to see her one more time and told her to reincarnate into a better family.

Both ex-assassins are legends. I have told you that my idols my age are dying young like fries. This actor started a lot earlier. He was like Brat Pit. When he was totally forgotten, he came back, taking lead or important roles like Connery. Then he must have been being forgotten again because he was old. Now I'm totally surprised because he looked like 70's or even 80's. The old skin on his face shows it all. And he's still playing the lead role, an ex-assassin that can still fight.

The woman ex-assassin is another legend. She started early, copying Sherly Temple. She wasn't beautiful enough when she grew up so she disappeared. She acted as a male for a bit. She turned up again when she was middle-aged. She took on some male characters and some females. The last time I saw her many years ago, she was making some art movies with a large budget for stars. In the beginning, it was supposed to be a movie for the ages with all the stars and the storyline. But then the movie just collapsed in the middle as if they ran of money all of a sudden.

This time she plays a grandmother. And owns a neighborhood club with middle-aged and older clients socializing. She is also the singer. I've been to something like that but private and with woman escorts.

The films are more European now. Local filmmakers are not going to get big budgets. The storytelling is good. The stars are amateurs but you may get some legends. Music is good. It's more like an art film except that the language is everyday restroom dialogue, or fewer people will come.

The credits include footage with the stars recording a song for the movie. Everybody cries.

Thursday, August 05, 2021

Post lockdown performance, mental health, sentimental

Before the pandemic, I had a teen lookalike slightly screaming OMG! OMG! while I was humping. It was plausible.

Since I unlocked myself, my performance is lacking. Maybe I changed my medication a little bit. I don't want to take anything that I feel slightly bad in my stomach after. Maybe I haven't met the right girl. Time will tell.

Maybe the self-indulgence during the lockdown affected me. But I was careful to treat every occasion like an expensive date. And careful to do it only necessary.

Time will tell.

But it's not about it.

There was a forced spring cleaning near the end of summer. All I'm doing is to keep my mental health, that is, not going crazy. So I made space in the garage, box everything unsightly, and put it in the new space.

To make the space, I had to throw away a CD Hi-Fi system, a surround sound system, and a karaoke machine.

We had some good times on the karaoke machine. We didn't use it much but it was the time before the kids. We had time. We had visitors and had fun. I should have thrown it away many years ago. We were never into it and we aren't going to use it. But it was some good times. After the big move, I was hoping that we made new friends. But then the kids come.

The surround sound system was something that people should have in the house. It was before huge home theatre systems. It was after the big move. It was at a time that we care about what decent people should have in the house. It's 5.1 for the DVDs at the time. It has always been working but somehow I made space for other stuff like game systems. It was in storage since. Wiring the speakers was trouble. In my mind, I will bring it back when I have to mood to do it, without crisis and a future to look forward to. I'm not going to upgrade to 6.1 or 7.2. 5.1 is good enough if there's still such a thing. It is a piece of hope.

The CD Hi-Fi system was brought when we were married in our first year or so. We went to the store after Christmas. We were getting things for our fairly new house, our first home. Because we looked so young, the salesman thought that we were looking for bargains or discounts after Christmas. He was waiting for me to ask. But we didn't. We just brought it. We had money. And we had a big happy house. I remembered the very sweet smiles on our faces. And a happy Christmas. I doubt very much if Mrs Player remembers anything.

Of course, we put it in storage once we upgraded to the other system. But I couldn't throw it away. I once installed it in the home office. I hanged the big speakers high up on the wall so little space was needed. But I wasn't into it. We use the other one for movies and that's it. And easily, it had given way to other stuff.

I always wanted to reinstall it. That's when I would have solved all the crises and having a future to look forward to.

Now when the forced spring cleaning comes, what can I do? Who can I appeal to? Who can I talk to? Nobody. She criticized me for hoarding things every other day. What can I say? I'm going to find the easy way out to keep my mental health. No confrontation. So I dropped the few pieces of junk into the trash trolley. And then the corner was replaced by boxes. Problem solved. I hope I forget them very soon.