Songs are forever

Actors grow old. You may watch something multiple times to get all the plots but less likely to watch the rerun. It's not usually about you. But songs can be, because they are abstract and adaptable.

With so much life experience behind me, LOL, lyrics can easily hit me one way or the other.

"Even if I own the world I want to hear from you." That's Chanel, the original. Indeed I wrote a very short story about the end of the world when I wanted to see her one more time. She wonders why but wanted to get any money out of me for the end-of-the-world sale.

"Who is worth me staying my whole life?" That's the big question of life. Everybody is dealing with it their own way. Some go through the marry-divorce cycle many times. Some pay for it ...

"Who made me believe lovers' words?" Oh, the wonderful memories.

The Asian way of doing it, one episode every day for 100 days, is effective indoctrination with an hour of visuals, songs, and most importantly, advertisements.

Even if I own the world I still want to hear from you

Seeing through life and death,

faded clouds, light winds,

I turned around to say goodbye,

leaving only my silhouette.

The world is full of chaos; people lose themselves to win.

In the end, inevitability they all lose to love.


No matter how much,

blood debts cannot be settled even if you repay endlessly.

Shining sword and sharp saber cannot slaughter my love for you.

Tragic fate chases me to torture my nature.

Why are love and hate destined?



Who is worth me staying my whole life?

Fame and fortune are always dazzling

but they are the moon in the water, flowers in the mirror.

Leaving behind righteousness, giving up stubbornness, putting aside the world,

you are in front of my eyes but she is behind.

Who made me seriously believe in lovers’ words?

Let the years testify, waiting for the scars to heal.

I don’t need to ask for more; you are my shining world.

Will you regret it if you stay with me?



Why doesn't the sky clear after the rain?

I dream of you day and night, not wanting to wake up.

Even if I own the world I still want to hear from you.

I’m longing to search for any traces.



Seeing through life and death, faded clouds, light winds,

perhaps all the fights can be paused.

Not so fast

I thought I got away with not filing last year's taxes for now. But it caught up with me soon enough. I was in a panic.

Earlier, I found that I can do prior year taxes online but I thought it would be rather useless compared to Turbotaxes and the like. But at least, as a long time ago, I had to buy a tax CD, when I barely had a CD ROM reader even at the time. Or, I had to download an app, and to run my long-obsolete PC, the only Windows machine.

I know I should file something fast and change it a lot later if I have to, as long as I don't cause further delays in IRS processing. But I still froze for a few days before I could do anything.

I still want to open all my mails stored in the garage and everywhere for two years to find all the tax documents if they are important. One is the new health coverage documents which were painfully detailed and the first ones that the app ask me for. I remembered seeing them but it's impossible to find it now. But then I found out it was online, a big big surprise. Why they don't mention it when they mail it to you?

Next, it dawned on me that I can use the standard deduction so that I don't need any fancy forms other than W2's and the like. The chance of error and delay is even less.

The only thing left is my stocks. It was the last year that I sold them all. It used to be easy because I carefully keep the mailed form in a very safe place. I know where to find it. But the problem is, once I clicked on the dividend reinvestment box, thinking that it's a good idea. It could have earned me or lost me a hundred or so every month, mostly positive. But the big problem is, I have a transaction every month to report, not knowing it until come tax time.

Luckily, I did that already to estimate my gross income. 

Finally, I check on my IRS account if they have any form on me that I have to report. It's all clear so the IRS doesn't have anything on me to dispute my filing.

The final problem is the filing of the return. I know I cannot file electronically for prior year taxes. Mailing it will cause maybe a week or more delay that I can ill afford. Worse, to my horror they don't accept mailed return anymore! How do I file?

So I have to find a local agent who has the license to file electronically. I was hoping some will be still open wearing a mask to see me. It could be $200 when I have done all the forms myself.

When I checked out of my online tax preparation platform, I realized that they have to process it and if I want it fast I have to pay more. Sneaky!  But that is not more. They can file it electronically too if I pay more. Of course I did, a lot cheaper and faster than looking for a local tax preparer.

Before I had my questions answered, when I woke up they finished the processing and filed my federal and state returns. The next day it was accepted by the IRS. Woohoo!

The transcript will take two to four weeks in ordinary days. This is not ordinary days. Two weeks is good. Four could be seriously dangerously and more than that will be fatal. So I checked every other day.

And today I got my online transcript! End of story, a happy ending.

So I can keep thriving staying at home. I cut my own hair and everybody else in the family if they want to. All my personal care and cleaning supply are homemade, each bottle of ingredient last for many months. And I can get resupply online easily.

I have enough TP, paper towel or alternatives, H2O2 and alcohol without stockpiling. Now most of them are coming back except alcohol.

I have been using grocery delivery on and off since Amazon Fresh launched. Now I use all of them depending on who is available at the time. It's more expensive but staying at home the other expenses are less.

I rarely see other people except for escorts. So social distance and stay at home didn't affect me much. And I save so much money. Though on occasion I go online to see incredibly beautiful and sexy women.

And I discovered the air fryer after so many years. I made stir-fries in it, actually stirring as I go along instead of the wok. I made thick steaks in it. I made warm salads in it. I grill squashes in it. I may get a bigger one to fry simultaneously to save time.

That's how I thrive. Tax is not due until July.

Reflection

I'm not fond of listening to my music playlist. Indeed, I don't have one. I don't have that when I'm younger. Imagine that if you have a fav playlist in your 20's, what happens if you listen again decades later?

Too many memories. I can easily go into nothing mode, nothing but thinking about the past. That's why I avoid it.

Binge-watching is different. The stories are not mine and the pieces of music are new. But I was wrong.

Previously, I binged or caught up with Chuck, Burn Notice, and Hawaii 5-O because I watched part of the new series years ago. I just had fond memories and I am interested in the endings. The only thing that reminded me of the past is the phones! There is a clear watershed year - 2007. Like Burn Notice, the real spy consultant to the show has outdated tech. It's not just that people use flip phones, but also some storylines will be different if only they have smartphones.

Some shows write on the iPhone as a new thing. You don't see any flip phones after about 2010, while some series span across the few years.

You can see the same thing about social media. Nowadays some people joke that they finished eating when their friends still haven't finished with their IG photos. The new reality is that people text a lot, if not everything, and most if not all of the time when they are not sleeping. The most realistic dialogue is for the text to appear on the screen as they happen with voice over.

I saw a cute girl who is Chanel I + II. The guys are very acceptable and actually cool. It looked so modern, and in their own words, so city. So I started only to find out it's so old when everybody was using flip phones. It's not the worse, it's a story about several high school graduates who went on about their life. I can't help but think about where are they now after 18 years. And what I did at their age.

Another one is Sex in the City with foul language, woohoo. I missed all that learning about love into your middle age. I missed having close friends. I had but I didn't see how to keep in touch when our life turned out so different. I wouldn't want to go to reunions to talk about myself nor somebody wants to talk to me about themselves. But on TV one is born rich, one deals with millions in a transaction but one is a kindergarten teacher.

Actually, all the binge adds up and I reflected on my whole life so far. But first, I think about the life of two people. One is a high volume escort who advertises very often and were very busy making babies. I think that's her exit strategy but a lot easier than 3rd world countries. Education is free including meals, books, and computers. If the kid is not too bad, she can easily get enough loans to get through University like everybody else who wanted to.

I'm worried about Chanel II. The princess in the story spent all her time shopping just like Chanel. But the princess spent her father's money. Chanel spends her own money. She has everything now. But I don't know how she will be taking it when she goes downhill, which has started.

Also, she is not the type of survivalist. First, she can't stay at home. Fortunately, she listened to somebody and checked herself into a resort hotel. The other reason is that she can't do anything for herself other than makeup. She can't cook. She has people to do her hair and nails. She has two or more walk-in closets at home. She just has one bedroom for a three-bed apartment. This pandemic isn't going to hurt her but you can see apparently she is less groomed in her IG.

Dad had the money to put me through private school from kindergarten to middle school. It's a rather odd experience because when I lived near the country, we were near a slaughterhouse and an industrial plant. When I lived in the city, we were near a downtown ghetto.

I am gifted but highly underachieved. I had no wants, no role models. But by a stroke of luck, I entered one of the top high schools. I was always so popular. I played hard so when bad influences call me up to gamble I would just go out and get into a bus. I did my homework and remained in the top ten of students effortlessly. Teachers, if they have something to say about me, always say I can do better. Parents approved of me because I'm basically a good student. Top students always respect me because they know that I can do better than them if I setup my mind to. And they don't' want enemies when we will be the circle of professionals who are going to run the place.

The problem is that I'm not the type of boy that pretty girls and bad girls will write my name on their toilets. I'm the type of 2nd choice, husband material, and parent-approved. Even in elementary school, I had my class prefect who was interested in me, trying to make friends. But we didn't play with girls at that age.

My homies always know that I'm dangerous. When I was barely a teenager, I was attacked by a group of army brats from a nearby school. They singled me out when I was walking with my classmates to the bus stop. The youngest girls are about my age, all the way up to seniors. Most are pretty blondes in short skirts. I couldn't take a good look because all of a sudden they all attack my face with flowers.

They overdid it so I had trouble opening my eyes. When I did they were gone. There were so many witnesses but nobody said a word about it. No one will believe it. Not even if they saw it with their own eyes.

My sister has the habit of dressing me up when I am cute. Once we were buying clothes on the street market one woman came up who tried to buy a shirt for her kid and wanted to see if that shirt looked good on me. My sister was so proud. At about the same time, I was trying out a pair of jeans in a tiny shop. A young woman actually peeped inside the makeshift changing room. I have no idea why but it's too obvious. She wasn't a teen like I was. She was at least in her 20's, considered attractive.

Of course, me and my homies wanted to learn the guitar entering high school. But we all saw somebody we trusted walking away with our guitars. He graduated that year and never returned. Nobody was rich so we didn't tell our parents and let it go. Years later we will still talk about it, "it would have been totally different." We were in a boy's school. When my homies got lucky knowing some girls they would use my pulling power. But sometimes they lose out to other boys because they have a handsome guy playing the guitar.

They will use me but if they don't need to, they will avoid me seeing their girls. In my senior year, I had a model going after me! She is the same year as me, drove a car, heavy makeup highschool standard, and appeared on at least one TV ad, lower body though. She is attractive of course but I didn't get it. I never had a girlfriend and we were like the polar opposite. I was so stupid. She even asked me out subtly, so subtle that I told her to go herself as a joke. It was a very bad joke. But worse, somebody heard it all! But anyway, I think she is into the name of my school on my uniform much more than me.

I also followed a few highschool students on the streets and asked them out. I was irresistible. But I was a terrible date. I didn't know anything about girls. I gave up when school work became intense. But I always knew I would be able to pick a pretty girl when I am ready.

One summer, one of my friend's friend came home from college for a break from halfway around the world. We are all schoolmates anyway but I seldom play with the richer and more mature crowd. He brought along a new friend from college. We just happened to meet in a bar. The friend was the center of attraction as she was the only girl there. But she showed an interest in me. Indeed, she asked me to take her home.

She is considered attractive. A well-traveled rich college girl. But I wasn't sure what's going on. The guy who brought her there could have taken her home. I didn't even have a car. And believe me, it wasn't dangerous to go home alone. But it was all set, nobody objected. Nobody laughed because it looked like that's how college girls roll.

When we walked out of the door, I threw up! Big time. I usually fell asleep long before that stage. In my mind, I felt so embarrassed but I was still thinking to take her home. But nobody mentioned that again. So we just split. That is one of the things that one would say, "it could have been different."

In our group of friends, we used to have a very rich girl. She is humble because she isn't attractive. We got along because she wasn't like Chanel. She is fun because she told us things, from her stepmom, step-siblings, and how to ask beautiful strangers out for her brothers. I treated her as a friend but not close - we are so different. But I could walk straight into her bedroom to wait for her if she was late. In a way, she was making me special but I treated her as a friend.

I met all her family except her parents. Yes, I met her stepmom and played with her stepkid sister. Her younger brother asked me what did I know about the family industry. I didn't even know what their industry was and that I was studying something related. Her big brother felt a bit like we were double dating. His girlfriend felt a bit like we were both gold diggers.

Before I left for college, she told me a story about her cousin, who was very happy about her husband. Her cousin is also rich but unattractive. Her cousin got a husband who is Mr average but his job is to make her happy, like being romantic 24/7. The moral of the story is, "Do you want to be him?", she asked. I didn't say a word. But she knew I wouldn't want to. I don't know how to be nice to people. Looking back, perhaps she made it all up to pop the question.

That wasn't all. Every summer, she would call up my family and asked if I would be back for summer. That's rather odd. She would tell my family who she was but wouldn't call me directly when I was back. Maybe I should have called her back out of politeness. We were in a playgroup but that group was disbanded long ago. I wouldn't have seen her other than going out alone. That I didn't want. And I didn't know what to say otherwise.

Of course, my homies will hide their sisters. But their girlfriends don't. Why wouldn't they if they like me? One of the sisters was very upset because her parents broke up her relationship with her boyfriend. So her sister called me out and put us alone in a boat. One of the sisters just turned 16 and her sister took her to our clubhouse for a birthday party. Then I went on to take her out to theme parks and water parks, woohoo.

I wasn't ready for dating since I felt I was a loser. I continued to be an underachiever when many of my schoolmates went on to do great things. We were in the top high school after all. But when I got my first serious job, soon we moved into a big house with a big yard and white picket fences.

It's the reverse of that in the movies and on TV. It's not my life goal to get into one. I started out in one. I didn't give up an extraordinary life to settle down for some ordinary life. We didn't live happily ever after, but we have many happy years. There were struggles but never a hardship. The height charts on the wall constantly remind me of my lifetime achievement.

Indeed, the one I'm now on is about two retired world-class street racers. One a gas station owner and the other owns a restaurant in their home town. Both sons are losers but one inherited super racing skills with little help from his father. So there's hope, LOL.

I pity kids who don't know how the other half lives. I am fortunate that my kids start out in a big house with a big yard with white picket fences, in their own rooms. They had flown long-haul for holidays. One did the ice bucket challenge in a swimsuit in the balcony of a Hawaiian hotel with the golf course behind. It was the talk of the school when classes started. They know most of the islands but not by hopping. I took them home the first time from the hospital in luxury cars brought for the purpose. Their uncle let them "drive" his Ferrari without moving.

I had also taken them to state parks living in tents complete with one for a dry toilet. For a few years on the last day of the school year, they returned from school, erected a tent in the back yard, and slept in it for the first few days of summer. Happy days.

Some good news

We are going to have one more university student! It could have been a lot better; I screwed up big time. But then again it could have been a lot worse. I haven't even filed last year's taxes, a long story. There's enough loan in the package so finance isn't a problem and there's no other problem.

So I can breathe before attacking the taxes. Maybe I can celebrate by binge-watching and take a break.

Heavenly Binge watch report

After Chuck, I don't have anything that I need to watch connecting me to the past. So I tried something different - Heavenly Sword and Dragon Slaying Saber.

It turns out that the Asians have been binge-watching since the dawn of their TV. There is 1 season but technically no season. There are 50 episodes, 5 in a week plus 2 on Sat.

If you don't mind reading subtitles, it's highly recommended. Funny that it was the Asians who rely a lot on Hollywood subtitles. I watched half a Korean series once; it's not that bad.

There a lot of lookalikes but this one is based on a very popular modern classic epic, written by a hon. Dr. It was remade once every 10 years or so. The novel is totally unsuitable for movies as you cannot possibly condense an epic into an hr or two. It's not really a TV serious in the American sense but a long epic movie. The plot is perfectly solid; there has been a 2nd edition of the novel to correct and improve.

It consists of cross-generation epic love and martial arts stories. It takes 3 actors for the main character from birth to adulthood. The hero survives against all the odds, becomes number one in martial arts, found a few platonic lovers since childhood, became the head of a cult which is a good cult, won the hearts and minds of the martial arts world, defeated the corrupt King, found true love and retired together from the martial arts world to enjoy some ordinary life.

Basically, there is non-stop fighting every other minute. The fight scenes are competently done. It's hard to be groundbreaking but all the different styles are detailing written in the book so you don't get bored. And every time they fight for a reason.

For an ancient martial arts story, you need a lot of outdoor locations. I don't know if they spend a lot on it but the scenery is very nice - mountain and water, waterfalls and lakes. They don't build many props because they have a lot of the real thing. The novel is based on some real history and some real locations - temples, historical chateaus, palaces.

For 50 episodes with multiple love stories, there are a lot of dialogs and closeups. It's fortunate that the guy is acceptable, the women are nice and the wardrobes help a lot.

After I finished, I can't help but reflect on my own life. I can't say I come from poverty. My parents are great! My mom will do anything for us. Dad got us all the basics we need when we were kids. But that's it. I pity those kids who are struggling for food everyday, school, a place to live.

For some reason, I inherited a great mind. But I could have done a lot worse or a lot better. I attended a public school without a name for a year. Some years later I spotted a schoolmate selling things in the farmers' market. She hid from me and I never know her well. I have highschool schoolmates who are doctors, even head of a hospital, lawyers, architects, aid to local top politicians.

Against all odds, I got a nice house with white picket fences, nice cars, nice job, nice salary, pretty wife and nice kids. And a golden retriever. I never really appreciate all these things because I was still feeling like a loser compared to many of my old schoolmates. I really appreciate everything when I have to struggle to keep everything.

I still remember the moment when I first started changing diapers. I thought I will have my life back after 18 years. And then I thought what would become of me then? It should have been my best 18 years. I should have treasured it.

18 years came and went. I'm fortunate that my life never went away. I kept appreciating beautiful women, sometimes binging on them. I still do now on occasion. It's weird but it's a rite of passage to hit girls younger than your daughter. I never felt that way. I mostly hang out with the younger crowd because of their organic beauty and body perfect enough for human lollipops. So I was doing exactly the same thing as my kids grow up and me growing older.

I could have been more well known and leave more legacy to the world. But it's hard to turn down 10% down payment for a 3 bed house.

Looking forward, I don't have 18 more years for something great. It's just a struggle to keep everything for my kids, and hopefully not to be their burden later. It's always not too late to find great love but I have to get rid of the obstacle, unthinkable. But I can still appreciate beautiful women from time to time as I always do. Hopefully, I can still manage that as the years go by.

Goodbye Chuck

My heart sank when I was in the 2nd last episode. I peeped at the list and saw that the finale is Chuck vs Goodbye. As I have been saying, I have no regrets except that it's hard to say goodbye. If I am gone all of a sudden I'm not afraid. I did it my way. And the way the series is going, it could be a sad goodbye, at least not the fairy tale ending the earlier episodes point to. I was expecting a happy ending all along and I don't really want to leave the series with a sad heart.

I began to accept a bittersweet ending but at the last minute, it turned into a probable happy ending. It's not bad. The others like Five-O or Burn Notice are hard to make you sad. OK, they kill off the grandmother but not the lead actors. There is a couple in Burn but there's no love story. There's nothing in Five-O. And these others are easier to write. So both reached the 7th season.

It's a miracle that the Chuck Sara relationship kept me watching till the end, the 5th season. There is a love story in every episode. I can't imagine the writers can keep it up without boring people.

I mentioned about the old-timer films references and old-timer music. I have to bring up the old-timer guest stars. I remember Five-O must have been spending a lot of money to hire guest stars, who have a lot more star power than the series lead actors.

Not Chuck. The guests they bring are like old-timer music. They are famous, great, but they are have beens. In other words, they don't age that gracefully. At least you feel a little bittersweet for them. Like the old James Bond Tim. He still looks great but he can't do James Bond anymore. Like the Terminator woman. Maybe she's having fun doing it. But if it were me I may hide except for occasional appearance. Acting on TV really exposes your aging.

The exception is Bo Derek. I don't know what went into her head. She is in her 60's now. She is going all out - no wrinkles, no eye bag, no botox lips, laser white skin. Does it worth it?

The most gracefully aged is Ladd, the Charle's Angel. She has all the wrinkles around the eyes but she just looks beautiful. Her new and old pictures are both attractive. This is what I expect from Chanel I. But sadly it will be very unlikely I will see her again.

These old-timers bring back old memories of our own, just like old-timer music.

OK, looking forward to the future, there is an unexpected detour. I had known to try watching Korean drama. I surprised myself that I watched almost a full season of a comedy with a handsome man and a woman with an average face. I don't watch comedies. I like beautiful women. And I hate to read subtitles. So after that, I avoid hooking up on another that I will regret.

I can't find any obvious spy TV series nor obviously beautiful women. I am now starting Heavenly Sword and Dragon Slaying Saber. They have a decent budget, perhaps big. Nice outdoor shoots with historical backgrounds as props. Nice makeup props. Atmospheric like period drama. Nice music too. Stylish fight scenes that you can do every 2 minutes with infinite variation. Women are beautiful and more organic than Koreans who all look like pop stars or movie stars.

Did I say most of the series are forgettable? When they need to find something that Sara remembers, immediately I think of the sketch of them with a baby. But when it's a place instead of a thing, immediately I thought of the house with a red door and the carving on the supporting beam. That was a few episodes ago. I actually paid attention and remembered.

Are they overdoing the house with a white picket fence thing? Is that even realistic? How can two doctors' salaries not afford a big house in Burbank? I know it's not affordable in major metro areas like New York and when it's not possible to commute like around LA.

When we got off the plane, we were put into temporary accommodation. The condo and apartment neighbors didn't try to make friends because they knew they were of a different class. Soon we move into a big house with 6 ft white fence, not that I wanted but it's HOA requirement. When the neighbors see the moving trucks I can see that they are happy for us and dream about the same day for them. Those are nice neighborhoods and nice condos. People walk their dogs and high school kids will social at the pools when it's getting hot.

Then we started many worry-free years with everything, nice cars, golden retriever, and babies! Our parents and siblings were proud. Perhaps we took it for granted, me not so much. People will say, "Oh I also live up there!", which is some 10 miles away. The younger ones will ask, "What business are you in?". We almost lose it under the hammer and we actually signed it off for a day or two.

I remember when I was practicing changing diapers, I told myself, "There goes my life for the next 18 years.". Those were my best years actually. I feel so lucky now sitting in the same house with all the big babies in their own room, when they are all taller than the height recording chart still hanging there on the wall! I treasure every moment; who knows what tomorrow will bring?

By the way, 18 years came and went. It wasn't that bad. I still have passionate sex with perfect bodies when I choose to. I have to cut down a bit nowadays for the big babies. I'm fully functional and I made an 19-year-old girl moans OMG, OMG all the way. It might be just plausible. But of all the things that she could please me, this is rather unique. Indeed I never had that. Maybe I got better. It was just Christmas last year. And I had to report that I still got it. Last year I met a pretty 17-year-old girl who must have been vying for males' sexual attention. She kept gluing her face to mine and took selfies. It must be the lighting.

Feels defeated

I woke up today having a minor sore throat. In normal times I wouldn't worry about it in a million years. I didn't see any doctors as far as I remember. The only thing that defeats me is coughing. But still, I just need to force myself to rest for a few days and it will go away.

My spirit has been high. I have been stocking up on respirators because some friends needed them overseas. Somebody got all of it in January but the price online is still manageable. I kept two boxes because nobody wanted them because they are still expensive. I even managed to cancel some orders.

The problem at the time was that people will be alarmed if you wear a mask. They think you are very sick and should go to the hospital or stay at home, not on the streets.

That was January. When the mask shortage shows, I actually drove to a local hospital to donate a box. It was actually not that local. My city has almost the lowest confirmed cases per capita in the county, which in turn is very low in the state. Last week or so we have only a few confirmed cases. And my city wasn't even on the map when I moved here. People still used maps then and my friends couldn't find me, not until the maps were updated and they throw out their old maps, which people don't do.

When the mask order came, I was relieved that if I even need to venture out, the stores will be safer. The problem is, they are still effectively public shaming people for wearing N95 respirators. That's not fair for people who are prepared. I have most of a box left since the SARS days. Never used it. It could be somewhere in the garage. I saved two for each one in the family and donated the rest, in case we are forced to go to dangerous places. Two for rotation in case we need to reuse it.

It was a compromise because at the time no reuse method was researched. Now it seems that an oven at 160F will do the job. And that the virus won't live for more than 3 days.

Anyway, I'm not losing sleep on it. I didn't choose to mail my donations to the worst-hit areas because it's like choosing who lives and who dies. And the recipient will probably keep the whole box for his/her family.

And I have the workplace ones instead of the medical ones. The difference is that my N95 have a valve for easy breathing out. It won't protect the patients from the doctors, who are very likely to carry the virus when PPE are far from enough. Ethically, my N95's are useless in hospitals.

The mask order is still a good thing. I have tried to disguise my N95 with a covering mask! The bonus is that the N95 protects me while the cloth cover protects others. But still, people will stay away from me because I look like an unprepared idiot. The other problem is that I only have 1 N95, the rest are N100's. They are very easy to fit over the face but they are too big to disguise.

I have been using grocery delivery services for years. I tried them all. Amazon fresh was decent when I had money. The others aren't worth it. They mark up the prices. They charge a delivery fee and you have to tip.

I signed up for the Walmart pickup service when they were first available. They don't mark up the prices. And surprisingly, not only that it was a free service, the staff aren't even allowed to receive tips! Eventually, I switched over to the delivery service late last year because the time saved for not driving to the store will pay for itself. It's a pity that they don't give preference to loyal old customers but let everybody sign up. It was working properly till March I think. Then the last order was booked a week in advance. Now it wasn't even possible to book anything. I should have my refund for the one-year subscription.

Walmart has surprisingly enough organic and health food. It's not obvious in the stores but you can search for them online. The other service I use now and then PrimeNow. The food is healthy (Whole Foods) and expensive, but I can imagine that they mark up the price as in other stores like Ralph. So it's not that bad. I can't tell the difference between Amazon Fresh other than that Fresh cost some $300 a year. I still use PrimeNow now and then because I can get anything in stock in two hours. When Walmart failed totally, PrimeNow still has delivery windows available if you check often. But now it is as useless as Walmart.

In my desperation, I tried Ralph, because they have a window a few days ahead. And everything was available (other than TP and IPA). I know they markup the price and you have to pay delivery fee and mandatory tips. It becomes attractive when all else failed. But it was a total failure. I think Ralph closed on Easter without telling Instacart, their delivery partner. Ralph didn't try to even fix it; I called support, the supervisor and the supervisor's supervisor. Basically, they just canceled the order and made another order for me so I have to wait a few more days. I could have done it myself without wasting time on the phone. The wait time is like an hour. I refused to call the Instacart support because Ralph should fix that for me without waiting another hour. And they are probably giving me the runaround when I get through.

Finally, the supervisor's supervisor put me on the Instacart support queue before cutting me off. Honestly, it wasn't a long wait. The support staff did give me a delivery window a few days ahead. I was about to be a broken record complaining about that before Easter I received a message promising the first available shopper. The fact is that they never stopped taking orders since then and now giving me the next available window a few days ahead. She seemed to get that and Ralph may have left a note on my account. A 4-hour delivery window was opened that started a few minutes after I hang up.

Ralph is my favorite store because its own organic label is very affordable and the variety is as good as their non-organic counterparts. Just that I have to go to the store to shop myself. Otherwise, it's not worth the price. Even for delivery in the crisis, most things were in stock or have substitutions available. Not so much for the other stores. My tip is not to order alcohol because they don't waive for the sign off requirement. And don't allow substitutions. It's a waste of time. The shoppers won't know about anything. You have to supervise using messaging if you want to get something decent.

Surprisingly, Target wins. But it's a bit confusing. Pickup is you walking into the store. Drive-up is they taking your goods out to your car. And there is delivery that their own Shipt. I have a same-day delivery window when all else failed. They don't have organic food but who cares if you have food instead of nothing. Drive-up is best when they know to just dump everything into the car and let you leave without doing anything. Lowes give you papers to sign off when you just ordered a tape and the girl wasn't even wearing a mask nor gloves. Walmart failed. Pickup is not too bad when there is at most one or two people in line at odd times. But I think both are excluded for wet groceries, that is exclusive to delivery. Again it's not bad when Amazon makes you wait for a week for non-essential goods. You can get a shower curtain in the Target parking lot in an hour or two.

All in all, I haven't been to the grocery store since Jan. Except that I went into a random Smart and Final when I was adjusting to the fact that I don't get next delivery anymore. It was dinner time and no other customers were at the checkout. There wasn't much left but enough New York steaks and fresh Salmon. Also, I found plenty of spaghetti but I was only allowed one. The other store is the CVS drugstore. I check if their website is correct in saying that that was stock. Websites are usually wrong but I just happened to find 3 small bottles. I could have taken them all in the evenings but I asked if there was a limit per customer. Indeed there was.

The other challenge is the disinfection supply. I didn't think I have a problem because I always have some hydrogen peroxide and isopropyl alcohol at home for cleaning other than wounds. I am so disappointed that people don't read labels. Anything else is careful not to use the word disinfection but sanitization instead. The word air is taken out all product names because you cannot disinfect the air by spraying. Most bleach products are hazardous to humans and pets. And that you have to wet hard surfaces for 10 minutes before allowing for air dry. Basically, they are useless; you are better off washing the hard surface with soap. There is no guarantee for anything soft or porous.

So H2O2 diluted to 0.5% is as good as anything else when you can afford to get things wet. But the problem is you cannot apply it to skin. It's a lot less corrosive to the skin compared with 3% straight from the bottle. But it's a bit dangerous when the wet surface is drying. You can apply IPA on skin without much damage and it's fast drying. The alcohol will go first before water. But even 100% alcohol isn't that damaging.

H2O2 isn't easy to get in the shops but plenty at Amazon the time I ordered, a box of it. IPA is impossible. Finally, I settled on one indoor alcohol fuel. It's over 90% ethanol, the drinkable alcohol that is a lot safer than IPA. A few % of IPA and a few % of undisclosed that is not suitable for use on skin. But that's OK. I still have a big bottle of hand sanitizer and a bottle of IPA to make it if needed. But I have soaps. I have one bottle that hospitals uses for surgery. And my own simple formula allow me to wash my hands 10 times an hour without feeling bad on the skin. The box of fuel will last me a long time, only used when H2O2 is not suitable. I have everything I need for months.

And the TP thing. It's not an issue. I have plenty. I ordered one 24 packs whenever they were available. The last packs were from dollar stores. I still have two packs. There are plenty of commercial paper towels. If the worst comes to the worst, everybody can put their used paper towel into a small trash bag and dump it in the big bin in the yard. I don't see any problem with it. It's a lot worse to lineup in the stores to get some.

I was so relieved when school was closed and shops were closed. It's a lot easier to keep everybody safe. I banned take-outs too. There's only one route into the house, grocery delivery. It has been weeks of effective isolation and everybody is well.

Then all of a sudden I got a very mild sore throat. That makes me wonder is it possible something went wrong undetected? The girl at the Lowes parking lot? The time I went into Target to pickup a bottle of soy sauce? Did I not disinfect the grocery packaging enough with an ozone generator? Did somebody touch things from Amazon that I labeled "do not touch"? Or did I eat too much potent stir fry? Tomorrow is another day.

What can be done while social distancing?

(It's strange that Blogger has some minor updates after all these years. Why? It gave up RSS, Google feed Reader, let Wordpress be king. It's not going to be as simple as Instagram or Tikok. Maybe there's something new under Google's sleeves.)

I have seen a lot of girls going online. I think I have seen one porn star going solo on a cam site. It makes a lot of sense. There are no other actors nor crews.

On the other hand, I saw many girls advertise as usual and I think they work as usual. It's risky as you can get it through breathing and people can spread it when they don't have symptoms or very little of it. But I understand if both parties have no family to go home to. They have no unemployment checks and they probably don't file taxes, not going to get the stimulus. 

Maybe they have a future vision. It's the same virus last year and next. We are not going to get a vaccine soon and it may not be like a flu vaccine. It could be less effective and the death rate is still unknown. The economy is under great pressure to reopen. So you have to assume the guys you are working with or commuting with don't have the virus if they have no symptoms, which is wrong. You cannot test people with absolutely no symptoms. It cannot be regularly tested like HIV because you can get the new virus with or without doing dangerous things; you can get it by breathing or touching. So opening up earlier isn't that extraordinary.

I also see girls wearing a mask on their ads. This makes some sense since the virus may be all over you but it only attacks the lungs. You cannot be infected by eating, or very unlikely. It could lower the risk a lot if both wear a mask and take a bubble bath or soapy shower after.

Really I wasn't going to write about any of these. I was thinking about what I can do at home. It's not that difficult to quit the "hobby" until further notice. Every day is a struggle getting the grocery deliveries and the supplies to deal with the virus. 

Of course, many people binge-watch at home. Last time it was Burn Notice for me. I looked for Chuck but it was only available on DVD! I went for Hawaii Five-O instead. I quitted together with Kono.

Spy movies always have a place in my heart perhaps Dr No is probably the first movie I watched. I never missed any James Bond movies with Connery as 007. Watching Chuck again is a totally new experience. I watched it from the 1st episode because I don't remember any details. It was that good (or bad) because you can watch it all over again like new. 

When I first watch it on TV, I don't know what Burbank is. I had absolutely no reason to go to LA and I didn't. Except as a tourist when I first came to USA or showing someone around LA when I am absolutely not qualified. This time around I can drive around DTLA like a local or like a taxi driver. I know the Valley, Hollywood, Pasadena, Silver Lake, Beverly Hills, and Burbank. Julia lived in DTLA and Caroline in East Hollywood. 

When I first watch it, I didn't have my master's in rock history. The creators shamelessly plug in their favorite rock classics, like "Is this love?" I have to wonder, what is their target audience?

There is also a Casablanca reference. But it would be too subtle for the immature. They just cut and paste a video of it. They shamelessly recreate their own Casablanca moment. Running away together in Prague? Propose in the balcony in a perfect French Chateau? BTW, I never noticed until now that Chuck never left USA to make the series. I had no reason to notice it. A Czech stock video followed by filming in a Czech railway station. In France, it was the Chateau. In Russia, it was the abandoned industrial complex. In Turkey, it was an ancient castle/mansion. It dawned on me that they were likely not filming at where they were supposed to, but on sets, imitations or copies of the original place.

Public sex

I finally did it...

I was driving at night to keep the boredom away. I drove past a deserted big strip mall and parked out of sight from the main road so cops aren't going to bother me. Nobody can walk behind me and surprise me.

It happened that I have a big tablet in the car and I watched porn. You know the rest.

The real Chanel

Look how the innocent school girl I met 5 years ago, who I called Chanel (II) turns out to be? Chanel from head to toe and bragging about it

Women like the same things. But Chanel I has some limits. She wasn't doing well. Indeed she just wanted some pocket money to survive and keep gold-digging alive. She never went public. She could go porn or stripping but that's only my opinion. If she reviews more of herself and not afraid of being outed, she would go far escorting.

She did show her face when I came across her. It's a no brainer to book her.

Another reason Chanel I has limits is because she was spending her then boyfriend's money.

But Chanel II has a Porshe and then some. There's no limit. But I'm surprised by how much she is willing to do for a few hundred.

A salesperson in her high-end mall was infected. The mall closed just before the state lockdown. What did she do? Went to New York, perhaps to find shops that still open. But at least she is better than other girls who are doing business as usual.

Perhaps I understand women. Mrs Player almost got the chance to shift Chanel merchandise. She blew it  because of her own fault. She did have some outfits and shoes more expensive than Chanel's.

She is not like "I'm still going to build great things." She just wants a job that has a big paycheck. Then she can have the money to spend on her things, like Chanel (II).

End of the world ... more

I am amazed that it's business as usual for some hot girls. There is this new girl Cat, who I thought she only turned up for the Christmas to New Year break. I am a bit surprised that she turns up regularly a few days a week in different cities. Now it's business as usual.

But it's not a good time to get close.

Facing Mrs Player 24/7, I can't even have marathon sex with my dolls. It would have been a good alternative. Some real girls do not kiss or don't ignite my passion. Others are too delicate to whack.

End of the world ...

 ... for I had to face Mrs Player 24/7 for at least a month or much longer! It's unimaginable!

I began to remember the less memorable girls. I saw a young girl because of her jugs. It turned out that she was thick and unattractive. But I turned her over and took up her Greek offer. She screamed like a pig but was eager to satisfy me. That's a good alternative to a pretty cheerleader when you need to lift your spirit.

The other 19 year old has a sexy body. It turned out that she is mixed so she has the better of both worlds. But her face is too exotic to fire my BFE passion. But she is classy, GFE and has a nice character. She would glue to my body and put her long legs around me after swallowing me. Good times.

And of course, Avery, when I wanted to whack some tall blonde regardless of the price when I was in rebound mode. I just wanted her ass but it turned out that she is good enough to be a Victoria Secret's (RIP) model. She is GFE and passionate too.

Alice doesn't live here any more

Last month Julia posted a video of her moving out. I had such a fond memory of that apartment twice. She has a kitchenette near the entrance on the way to her "living room". And she talked about that she liked cooking. Obviously, I could have grasped the chance to ask for home cooking. But there was plenty of time until she dumped me.

I looked out of her bedroom window and had a good view of downtown. It's not too low to see the ugly ghetto downstairs. It's not too high but I can still see some landmarks and the city lights around us.

She was happy moving to some better places I guess. But I was a bit sad looking at her apartment for the last time.

But it could be a good thing since she won't worry about me anymore. I may be talking to her some day.

She was such an attractive school girl when I first met her. Now she is a walking bombshell in hot pants; she is a well-qualified stripper. I'm sure her new boobs make her hotter in clothes but it's not my thing. Also, her makeup is off the rails but who cares.

I like skinny models but looking at Chanel's IG everyday changes my mind. I'll go for a stripper at any time.

My IG friends updates

Isn't Caroline cute? And she seems to be happy. She is outstanding and attractive having an average hairstyle, an average dress, and average makeup. But she can't be like this to be noticed to make the big times. I can't stand when she needs to be trendy and cool and model-like.

If she keeps on appearing like this, I may have to visit her and see how weird to have sex with her again when she is so happy with her boyfriend.

Julia went into the hospital. Luckily, it was only for her boob job. It's $8,000. An earlier nose job $12,000. And she wore braces when I left her, a few thousand at least. I'm happy that she has that much money left.

I so missed her small boobs when she posted her old pictures! I felt that she didn't want to be squeezed. Now I know maybe she didn't even like her boobs, not my squeezing. Now I totally not want to see her because those were one pair of her attractions. Chanel is flatter and she doesn't want to change a bit.

I think Julia doesn't like her face too. That's why she made up like that which turns me off. Her nose is nice but it wasn't bad to start with. It makes little difference to me. But Caroline will benefit if her nose looks like that.

Chanel still goes to work in the usual place regularly but disappeared on IG. It must be sad for her.

In the process of homemaking porn, I came across a cute pornstar. I know in Japan it's like the girls apply online, agree with the compensation and the work, and then go to the studio on their own for a couple of hours and that's the end of it.

There will be enough porn for two movies or more, I guess. If the response is good the studio may call them again to make more. The studio may be a guy with a camera in an apartment.

So the typical casting at the beginning is for the girl to introduce herself not only to the audience but to the crew as well. They probably never met.

I saw something interesting at the end of the movie. The director walked the cute girl to the underground station to take the train home. And she said goodbye to the director on camera and of course to the audience.

This is somewhat how I feel about my girls. Despite what they do, I don't feel that they are different once outside of the bedroom. I can take them dinner or shopping just like any girls. And I do care about them as acquaintances or friends.

And that's how I feel as captured at the end of the movie. They have been through a lot; every girl has a story. We got really really close and very intimate if only for an hour or two, maybe a few more times. I value the good times they bring but when we wave goodbye, we know probably we will never see each other again. We can hope. And I hope they go on to bigger things or comfortable life.

The Ginger Ride

This is the first video I shot with Miss Yolo, or Linsey. Perhaps the best. She is so natural. It's like I'll have sex with you, I'll make you happy, buy me dinner.

I must confess in the process of rediscovering her videos I went off to masturbate. I could have called someone but why? There's nobody else like her. I could save some money. And if I'm not satisfied there's always tomorrow. And in the process of editing this video, I almost went off to masturbate again. Good times.

YOLO is her moto. I think that's why she sells herself in the first place. She often wants to talk me into doing something that I'm not interested in, just for the sake of "done that". I think that's her client did. If it's not difficult or dangerous, she will do it if the money is good.

I have to marvel at modern technology. I made a lot of video in the DV days! Anybody remembered? The cams were already handheld but they were huge monsters compared to a piece of thin metal. You don't even notice the difference because now the video is always focused, always stabilized and in 4K if you want to. I remembered I had to bring 100W bulbs into hotels to enhance the video and switched to power-efficient CF bulbs so as not to fry up the lamp. Some of the bulbs are still around in the garage! Now you can get good quality at night.

On the other side of the coin, you need the top of the range PCs to edit and recode the video so you don't need to wait forever for the whole DV tape! Now even the cheapest Chromebook can do the job if you put Linux in it. Of course, nobody still shoots clips an hour-long or more.

On the software side, I remember it was a good reason to upgrade Windows when Movie Maker came out. But there was only one freeware that can do multi-tracks and obscuring moving faces. It was very difficult to use with no support and no updates. But I hang on to it as there was no alternative.

Now you can run everything fast and free even on Chromebooks. It was so easy to obscure the things that you don't want others to see.

And not long ago no free editors can handle vertical videos well. Now it's mandatory. Any editors and players and websites that can't handle it are out.

Now I hope the WebM standard is universally accepted so you don't worry about the codecs and formats. There should be no royalties that all machines and websites can handle the one standard at the very least.

The Ginger Ride

Out of prison

I don't remember why exactly I picked Miss Yolo, most likely for her boobs picture. Although I'm not a breast man, outstanding pairs always get my attention. But you have to be careful to see if all the rest fit in and that if she delivers.

I know she is an also-run when I got a last-minute appointment. I found out later that she didn't even have a credit card to get a room all for herself. How old can she be? How experience can she be? But what got me going was that video was on her menu. If only her pictures are accurate ...

It was a pleasant surprise when I met her. She was a cute rag doll without trying. Her hair was messy but it was even reddish. She made it poorly into two ponytails if I remembered correctly.

She was wearing something like from the thrift store that I had no recollection of, very well fitted a rag doll. Her face isn't attractive even if you have a great imagination. You won't be proud of her as your girlfriend; indeed she confessed that nobody wants her in highschool.

But if I can pick her for sex I can do it every day. She was young, fresh, in good shape without workout, nice skin, and big natural boobs that looked great. Her pictures checked out and more.

She was unenthusiastic when we first met. She knew she wasn't anybody's first choice it was just a quickie to satisfy my last-minute desire. She knew she wasn't like the other girls, polished models or tiny skinny schoolgirls. But she delivered anyway. I liked her attitude. I had no doubt that she would deliver what she promised. I left happy and hopeful for the future.

Soon I booked her for the full video package. I didn't bargain but asked her to throw in anal. That's the sort of money she couldn't refuse and she happily accepted. The rest is history. I saw her once just to discuss what she would do in this video shoot. She was trying her best on her makeup and was quite disappointed when I wasn't going to shoot.

I brought everything she wore. Only the skirt was from a sex shop. All the rest were the real thing that I mixed and matched. The best is the elastic top that I handpicked because I was never satisfied with the sex shop ones. It's similar but rarely anybody can fit the sex shop ones well. This top looked great on her, or rather her boobs. Her boobs are big and natural. It's already elastic fit and you can tie it up as tight as you can at the front. You will see it.

White panties and white socks, aren't they pretty and cute? Other than playing with her top and boobs all together, I also instructed her to pull off her panties, but only halfway. You can see a glimpse of it because I was too busy enjoying myself and forgot to video it properly. I like to leave the panty halfway there, enjoying her with my nose, lips, mouth, tongue and face, until I was fully erect. How often did I have the chance to do that?

Now about the shoes. Once I saw a schoolgirl wearing that and I couldn't lift my head. If I were a player then I would have booked something like that immediately, or anybody for that matter. I'm not that picky. I always liked to revive that experience but few women wear those shoes. Also, I had to choose between her toes and a pair of cute socks. I picked the latter just to be certain. Honestly, I never noticed her toes because of her boobs perhaps. And once she asked me not to take off her socks while having sex. I don't think they are bad looking; they were just not well-trimmed perhaps.

By the way, the other time I couldn't lift my head was in the zoo. A schoolgirl type was wearing a slipper in front of me in the line. She wasn't any blue-eyed blonde with long legs. It was just her feet and toes on slippers. I was so reassured that it wasn't just me looking at this girl in the zoo like a pedophile.  The zoo cashier chatted her up right in front of me.

She liked the outfit so much that she asked if she could keep it. I was all satisfied so I thought I wouldn't be seeing her any time soon if ever. If I were going to see her next week I would keep everything to make sure that no one else can use it. And that she couldn't forget to bring them back. I would clean them thoroughly and made sure they were in good condition for filming.

If I gifted it to her, of course, she would show them off to the next client. I would be jealous but I am also generous. Why not help her out? You may not know but it's a lot of work. I had to slave over Amazon and eBay for hours for the mix and match. When you picked something you may totally change your mind the next day. Then it's all over again. Sometimes you wonder if you can get something cheaper. You keep checking if you are still horny regularly until the last delivery day.

The top cost a bit more but I doubt if anybody can fit that better than her. My usual kind of girls won't look good on that. The rest are rather cheap. I did hesitate on the shoes. They cost me the most and I would love to find my schoolgirl Cinderella. But then I never found one of those who offers video shoots.

This video is just the beginning. I had 3 cameras, some on mini-tripods and I had booked her several times.

OK, if you feel strange I told her we were on a bus and she played along well. The storyline wasn't about prisons but it turned out that I looked like it. If you are curious about what I was saying ...

"You are so big when you are still at school!"

And then she played along and made it up, "Thank you!, I am just 16."

Out of prison in a bus

Where are all the activists?

There are always more important issues than what you care about. But the consensus is that you do what you can contribute and the world will be better. Now it looks like that we are all doomed when the leader of the free world doesn't care about the ice, nobody can be passionate about anything. Except for some IG models who are still going out to clean their local beaches. "Their network is more important than their networth!"

In the past, it was very difficult to share porn, particularly video. Now you just upload it. The guys in charge must have found out that those who make poor homemade porns will be prone to watch much better professional ones. It's really a small price to pay when storage are worthless.

And soon after FOSTA, everything seems to be returning to normal, business as usual. Offshore sites are untouchable. TER is back with limitations.

Near the weekends, the same types of girls aren't avoiding each other and battle it out, blue-eyed blondes with super long legs.

When you are doing God's work, for life or for freedom, aren't you feeling hypocritical for your own vote or feeling hopeless for other's votes? Maybe you are not. But you just can't motivate others.

Why I couldn't miss anybody too much

I lost sleep when Julia quitted. But it wasn't really about her. It's about wasting so much of my time getting into her home and possibly enjoy some home cooking. It's not a waste; I enjoyed every bit of it. But I would rather spend my time with another equally nice girl so I have the option to keep or abandon her.

Now for those I don't remember much, I do remember their best parts.

Wicky is perfect in the artificial way. She is twenty something at least but run around naked showing off like a 18 year old. She has a pair of perfect work of art boobs. She has laser smooth skin all over. Her air is ass length, fit for any shampoo commercial. Her limbs are slender and long and her waist is tiny.

She is not that pretty but she did some face job so it's not far behind.

She asked me why I didn't visit her on Valentine's Day!

We didn't click much because she would blow me forever but wouldn't kiss.

I think she left this part of town when I gave up on her and has been doing very well on the other side of the city.

Linda is the most perfectly natural girl. She is at most early twenties. Whatever you want she got it. She is even pretty without much makeup on.

I liked her from head to toe. The problem is, she put extra lubrication inside and outside the condom. Other than that she is very eager to please.

I was going to work my charm on her and see how far she can go. But I just didn't have the chance to do it. She was there for a long time, visited the east coast, back, and then disappeared together with her mentor. I don't think she can trust anybody else.

You can't see much in this picture but trust me that I can masturbate with her pictures. But whenever I wanted to do that, I called her instead. Then I regret it. But I guy confessed that he did just that, masturbate on her pictures.

With a twist of fate she got a face that makes me want to forget. She's not ugly. I don't remember anything attractive. So when I am with her I would tell myself this is the last time. There are just so many pretty girls with a nice body. But when I come aross her pictures on the website, hers just stood out. And I couldn't remember how not attractive her face was. And then I wanted to masturbate. But I called her instead. The cycle repeats itself.

She is a bit moody. She is a tiny schoolgirl but she would talk dirty or talk you into revealing your deep dark secrets. She did a lot of things but she would tell me that she wasn't in the mood to do that on the day.

The last time when I was pinning her down on her arms and legs, I fucked her as deep as hard that I could manage. She is the type of girl who will swallow your cum but won't kiss you. On that day she was like semi-conscious. She turned her head to me and kissed away, until I came deep inside her.

Just when you think that the selection is a bit depressing, Cat pops up. Isn't she beautiful? Although she is wearing the exact makeup when I met her, I actually like it.

I don't know what she choose to makeup like that. Maybe she likes to be a model. Actually, she is a 100% pretty school girl. Her hair was shorter like a schoolgirl cut. She didn't kiss at all with that lipstick on.

When she rode me she looked perfect all over. I don't know why she like to put on a robe when she moves around in the room. Yes, she has some tattoos on her forearm. Maybe her legs are a bit weak. But it couldn't be. Maybe she is not proud of her height, about 5'3. But that is perfect for a schoolgirl.

When I couldn't come and asked her to give me a handjob, she stayed close to my cock instead of my face so I could take a good look at her. So I stretched her leg and put her feet on my face. They are lovely and I had a good examination on them.

She has a very very nice pair of breasts, good-sized for a schoolgirl. I thought I was dreaming when I licked them. Her pink nipples raised up in front of my eyes. Oh my fucking god!

Not only that, she fucks hard. If I didn't tell her to stop she would ride me hard until I come. She would hold tight to the headboard and deep pound me. Same for the blowjob. If I didn't tell her to stop she might allow me to come. But I wouldn't risk the misunderstanding. It's not on her menu. If I was about to cum and she ducked away, that would be a real waste.

She was the right size for a sex doll. I was so enthusiastic that she almost moaned like screaming for help. I paused to see if she was OK. She was. She kept moaning for help. Oh my fucking god. Maybe she was faking it but she didn't need to and it was very plausible.

In the end, she was a bit cold for me. I had to pull her bra and panties off. When I got close to her she was like, "what are you doing?". On the second time, she was wearing light makeup, exactly like a schoolgirl. When I tried to kiss her she didn't duck and gave me a lip kiss. When I lips stayed there she understood and gave me another lingering lip kiss.

The last time I saw her it was as if we never met. She hard fucked me just the same but I didn't even bother to kiss her.

I knew she is good with clothes on. I was shocked when she took them off. No offense, my legs were trembling so I kneel humbly before you. Oh my god, I believe you made everything. Finally, I found your holy grail. With knees on the ground, I was admiring her extraordinary hips, raising both my hands up straight into the sky, as high as I can reach. No, not one, I was holding two holy grails. And I drunk from them, one and then the other, and the other ...

But she was elusive like angels. I can't have too many nice things. Oh, please god, please ...