Motivation!

 I remember that I had a deadline on Feb, the shortest month of the year. I met that. I was so relieved after that. Then I enjoyed binge-watching Netflix for about a month.

It wasn't the end of it but I thought I have a few months of breathing space. Then all of a sudden I got the deadline the same as the tax date. Wow!

I had weeks to do it but I just can't go there. Total mental breakdown. A few times I almost succeeded in clicking on the bookmark and log in.  But I just couldn't do it. 

Time passed. I must finish two weeks before the deadline so everything else can fit into place. That pre-deadline was closer and closer but I still couldn't start. I was still banking on that I somehow click on the bookmark and finish everything overnight and then some. When the day came, I managed, with huge difficulty, to make a response. That's all I could do. And the day was passed.

Since I can't complete everything by the deadline, my next target was just finishing my part before that. I was even worse. The deadline came and passed. I couldn't even finish my part. Will I subject to a big penalty? Hurting others? Time will tell. And it won't take long. But there's hope that it is just done and goes away.

I finally started. How? Candies. I always look at listings of beautiful girls every day. But it's different now than, say, last year. I'm fully vaccinated now. And most adults will be the same if they want it. And I have a lot of spare cash. So I promised myself I can go to see some eye candies after I do my job.

That's quite an effective motivation. I almost clicked on the bookmark a few times. Looking at the sexy listings, and then looking at the bookmark, and then ... Finally, I did it. It took a few days. But it was painless once I started. Because the worst nightmare scenario won't happen. At least it's possible to finish it when nobody can find fault in it.

When it was almost done, my fav girl on the listings turned up who I never met. She posted a few new pictures. I had been looking at her pictures since last year. But this time it's different. My heart was racing. Because it dawned on me that I could just book her and met my dream girl in an hour. 

My heart was flip-flopping whether to see her in an hour or wait till next time. Should I finish everything first? Should I cut my hair and trim myself? I decided not to rush when I haven't done it for a while.