Post lockdown performance, mental health, sentimental

Before the pandemic, I had a teen lookalike slightly screaming OMG! OMG! while I was humping. It was plausible.

Since I unlocked myself, my performance is lacking. Maybe I changed my medication a little bit. I don't want to take anything that I feel slightly bad in my stomach after. Maybe I haven't met the right girl. Time will tell.

Maybe the self-indulgence during the lockdown affected me. But I was careful to treat every occasion like an expensive date. And careful to do it only necessary.

Time will tell.

But it's not about it.

There was a forced spring cleaning near the end of summer. All I'm doing is to keep my mental health, that is, not going crazy. So I made space in the garage, box everything unsightly, and put it in the new space.

To make the space, I had to throw away a CD Hi-Fi system, a surround sound system, and a karaoke machine.

We had some good times on the karaoke machine. We didn't use it much but it was the time before the kids. We had time. We had visitors and had fun. I should have thrown it away many years ago. We were never into it and we aren't going to use it. But it was some good times. After the big move, I was hoping that we made new friends. But then the kids come.

The surround sound system was something that people should have in the house. It was before huge home theatre systems. It was after the big move. It was at a time that we care about what decent people should have in the house. It's 5.1 for the DVDs at the time. It has always been working but somehow I made space for other stuff like game systems. It was in storage since. Wiring the speakers was trouble. In my mind, I will bring it back when I have to mood to do it, without crisis and a future to look forward to. I'm not going to upgrade to 6.1 or 7.2. 5.1 is good enough if there's still such a thing. It is a piece of hope.

The CD Hi-Fi system was brought when we were married in our first year or so. We went to the store after Christmas. We were getting things for our fairly new house, our first home. Because we looked so young, the salesman thought that we were looking for bargains or discounts after Christmas. He was waiting for me to ask. But we didn't. We just brought it. We had money. And we had a big happy house. I remembered the very sweet smiles on our faces. And a happy Christmas. I doubt very much if Mrs Player remembers anything.

Of course, we put it in storage once we upgraded to the other system. But I couldn't throw it away. I once installed it in the home office. I hanged the big speakers high up on the wall so little space was needed. But I wasn't into it. We use the other one for movies and that's it. And easily, it had given way to other stuff.

I always wanted to reinstall it. That's when I would have solved all the crises and having a future to look forward to.

Now when the forced spring cleaning comes, what can I do? Who can I appeal to? Who can I talk to? Nobody. She criticized me for hoarding things every other day. What can I say? I'm going to find the easy way out to keep my mental health. No confrontation. So I dropped the few pieces of junk into the trash trolley. And then the corner was replaced by boxes. Problem solved. I hope I forget them very soon.