Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Sweet surrender

Count down to surrendering! I always had plan B in case I torture myself too much. Chanel is a good lesson. All love and hatred doesn't matter any more when I lost her. Plan B is to book Helen first and then figure out the rest. Maybe wait 15 minutes after her classfied is posted to save some grace.

I was proud of myself for rejecting her sweet offer that contained nothing. I was proud to say no. Luckily she came online early. If she came later I may have lost any patience and resistance. And I was on the upper hand all along so it's not hard to bear. I can always switch and book Helen instead. I was holding well.

And her competition and her friends are just too bad. I noticed her new studio pictures and I go horny on every one. I don't even have any feelings looking on most other pictures. Even if I have a erection, I don't think we will kiss that well with a stranger for the first time. I was invested in and bonded with Helen. Or, like a dog trained to the sight of a bone.

Look back at the big data, her friend who I wanted to book did have something to show for. She could have been fully booked, or near capacity so she didn't risk annoying me one more time. Can she be more popular than Helen? Did Helen break too many hearts? Was she picky?

Now if her classfied pop-up I am not sure I would do. If it's not today then it would be tomorrow till late. If she plays again next week I will miss her more. But if I can do one more rejection by inaction, I would be proud of myself. But I'm already selecting costumes for her!

The story about the Prince and the Gay teaches us that all doesn't matter at the end. It doesn't matter who got the last laugh. It only matters who can still laugh, turn around and take a defiant smile at fate.

Looking back at my failed projects, Helen really isn't bad at all. I never got much out of Jordan. She liked to make me miserable to get ransom money. I had been generous to her but yesterday doesn't count. At the end I never got to her toes even though I booked a fancy room, got her into the bathtub, and laid a path from the bathtub to the bed with kitchen towels. I'm so original! We had our moments though. I enjoyed the hangout, a bit of dinning and shopping. I felt I was forever 21 driving her around, and into her favorite restaurant - McDonald's. And it's a true story - I picked her birthday clothes with her inside the changing booth. A birthday present. That was before she realized that it was a big giveaway of her time that she could have billed me. You know how bad it is? I deleted every trace of her phone number so I couldn't possibly call her even if I changed my mind. That was after I picked up the phone for the last time on Colombus day.

The strange thing is that I never thought of getting them to DFK. Maybe there are just too much to do. I was happy getting to their toes. I hangout with Emma a lot, free, like a couple but her make up signals not over there. I just don't know why I didn't think or attempt, not even when we were laying naked side by side on her own bed, in her upscale town house, watching basic cable TV. Of course I wasn't that fond of her. She is a great catch as a civilian, great body, with an oral fixation complex.

Take Chanel. It was after we went steady for a long time when she gave me chewing gums and started it all. She decided to keep me and she need to give me DFK to do it. It took longer before I got to her toes.

Helen is the most awesome of them all so far. How can I forget the #14 DFK of that day? I know why I got that "phew, wow, what's that?" feeling. Even though she didn't want to get into the bathtub, even though she was unease about it, she was all cheerful, all smiling, receiving all the kisses with a smile and lips and tongue. Maybe standing up helps. There's no holding back or it cannot be done. She even lowered herself one inch throughout so I can kiss her comfortably. Maybe after the #5 I asked how tall is she. She smiled, "five ten". Really not bad for a natural born heartbreaker.

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