Friday, May 08, 2009

The fail spy

Suddenly I decided to spy on Mrs Player. With triangulation, I found out where she was. (Actually the triangulation was only mentally performed.) I went to the nearest shop to get a bug. (It was a sensitive voice recorder.) I would like to get a GPS too, but no shop stocks cheap data loggers, which have to be shipped.

I found her car and planted the bug. To my surprise the vanity mirror was out and the light was still on. When I left I had to close the light and the mirror, because somebody was in the next car. I couldn't leave any light on to attract attention to me. I wouldn't know if that blew my cover.

I came back later to stalk her. Nothing happened. I was sure that I would beat her on the way home with time to spare, otherwise I would have lots of explaining to do. Surprisingly I failed miserably, even though I tried hard. I had the fast car. Later I found out that even though I took the road with virtually no traffic lights, at night her straight forward route had all green lights. The shorter distance route won.

The other time I caught her driving somebody to somewhere. I tailed her in the cover of darkness. It was disappointing, as she just dropped that person off home. But maybe she knew I was behind her and changed her plan on the fly.

I continued to follow her but she was driving like a pro spy. I lost her, didn't know whether she turned left or right. Just when I was flipping a mental coin, she zoomed past right in front of me like a victory lap. I followed more closely, now that I might have been discovered. Then she was doing frequent U-turns and I was caught face to face with her, though she didn't look my way. To avoid detection, possibly again, I had to drive at other lanes, missing the immediate U-turns. I lost her again. Only by illegal driving speed going straight, I was lucky to find her again. There were few other cars on the road, otherwise I wouldn't have recognized her car from afar.

She kept doing U-turns like a very pro spy to avoid any tailing. I didn't care and followed her at short distance. I felt so humiliated, but at least I couldn't be so fail as to lose her completely. She then drove home, maybe because I wouldn't let go of her. Instead of racing with her again, I went out to release some tension and frustration.

Later it dawned on me that the simplest explanation is the best - she was completely lost. She didn't see me or recognized my car in the dark.

2 comments:

Pete from Cal said...

This is just freaking hilarious about you tailing your wife and she keep doing u-turns like a pro to ditch you and then you realized she was probably lost. :D I was waiting for you to tell us if she was cheating on you or something... no suck luck but a good thing. :)

The Player said...

I found it hilarious too after the fact. Don't think she's cheating, otherwise we may start an open relationship.