Friday, May 08, 2009

The fail spy

Suddenly I decided to spy on Mrs Player. With triangulation, I found out where she was. (Actually the triangulation was only mentally performed.) I went to the nearest shop to get a bug. (It was a sensitive voice recorder.) I would like to get a GPS too, but no shop stocks cheap data loggers, which have to be shipped.

I found her car and planted the bug. To my surprise the vanity mirror was out and the light was still on. When I left I had to close the light and the mirror, because somebody was in the next car. I couldn't leave any light on to attract attention to me. I wouldn't know if that blew my cover.

I came back later to stalk her. Nothing happened. I was sure that I would beat her on the way home with time to spare, otherwise I would have lots of explaining to do. Surprisingly I failed miserably, even though I tried hard. I had the fast car. Later I found out that even though I took the road with virtually no traffic lights, at night her straight forward route had all green lights. The shorter distance route won.

The other time I caught her driving somebody to somewhere. I tailed her in the cover of darkness. It was disappointing, as she just dropped that person off home. But maybe she knew I was behind her and changed her plan on the fly.

I continued to follow her but she was driving like a pro spy. I lost her, didn't know whether she turned left or right. Just when I was flipping a mental coin, she zoomed past right in front of me like a victory lap. I followed more closely, now that I might have been discovered. Then she was doing frequent U-turns and I was caught face to face with her, though she didn't look my way. To avoid detection, possibly again, I had to drive at other lanes, missing the immediate U-turns. I lost her again. Only by illegal driving speed going straight, I was lucky to find her again. There were few other cars on the road, otherwise I wouldn't have recognized her car from afar.

She kept doing U-turns like a very pro spy to avoid any tailing. I didn't care and followed her at short distance. I felt so humiliated, but at least I couldn't be so fail as to lose her completely. She then drove home, maybe because I wouldn't let go of her. Instead of racing with her again, I went out to release some tension and frustration.

Later it dawned on me that the simplest explanation is the best - she was completely lost. She didn't see me or recognized my car in the dark.


Pete from Cal said...

This is just freaking hilarious about you tailing your wife and she keep doing u-turns like a pro to ditch you and then you realized she was probably lost. :D I was waiting for you to tell us if she was cheating on you or something... no suck luck but a good thing. :)

The Player said...

I found it hilarious too after the fact. Don't think she's cheating, otherwise we may start an open relationship.