Sunday, February 25, 2007

The Whoremonger, aka James, has a great sense of humor. He has to have from now on. British women are unattractive according to him. If he has his way, all the over weight women and those with eating disorders in Dominican Republic will be rounded up and deported to Haiti.

James is very picky about bloggers' English, which must be the result of frustration having no English spoken to him. If he is in charge of foreign policy, expensive prostitutes costing hundreds of dollars will be banned, and the money saved will turn into foreign aid to help single mothers and their kids. Sending voluntary troops to entertain will be part of the package.

James is probably an English language consultant over there, but that didn't stop him from selling in his spare time for commission, some phone cards and the crappy camcorder. You know, camcorder is just like penis. Size is everything. If the len is small, the picture will be grainy indoors and unwatchable at low light.

Never mind the women, I like my sidewalks paved! I can't get into the mood walking around potholes, uneven and dusty pathways. California concrete is OK. Centuries old cobble stone as in Guildford and other high streets are romantic. A Venetian port under star light is grand.

Similarly, I like refined women, be it superficial. But it doesn't necessarily mean makeup. If we meet early after lunch, Chanel liked to see me without any makeup on, so I couldn't possibly mess anything up on her face. When she upsets me, she would see me eye to eye, nose almost touching, not apologizing, but as if telling me, "I'm so pretty without makeup, I'm so worth it, and you are going to call me again in a few weeks". I'm had no problem with her not making up, until she arrived with beautiful makeup on and sexy dresses. I was so jealous because I was sure that she was going somewhere important after me. So she promised me to make up and look beautiful for me too. But the problem was, she complained that those makeup that I prefer, as if no makeup had been done, are expensive. I lifted her makeup better than any cleanser, so all the hard work will only last for an hour and she had to reapply everything all over again. So the compromise was for her to put on some powder instead.

I'm turned on by her well trimmed eye brows. Fine long hair flowing weightlessly. I like manicure and pedicure, even all natural nails, which I preferred. High heels, or designer slippers.

2 comments:

James B. Logwriter said...

At least you use sidewalks when most people in your neck of the woods never get out of their vehicle. There is still hope for you, but not much.

LA Player said...

My current California red diet is working well. If my little beer belly from last year doesn't go away, I'll consider the sidewalks.