The heavenly hand

I follow every instruction from my Goddess, deep breathing in and out, in and out, while she rubbed me down there. All of a sudden I lost my breathing rhythm and gasped for air big time. I didn't have trouble breathing but sure it looked scary to her. She immediately took me to another room without scented candles, or were they incenses? There must be something not ordinary in them.

Shortly I recovered and she carried on her job. I enjoyed it. I got her undivided attention for an hour. For a massage I usually go into a trance by myself or just fall asleep. For her service she had to talk me through everything and I had to give her feedback, totally interactive. But it felt too clinical. I was hard for a short while and then became totally limp. I should have told her to stop but I didn't want to leave empty handed, hers. She doubled her effort. Finally I did it but it was torture. I never came near any goddess since.

Do I want to last long and have profound orgasm? Oh yes. Do I believe in Tantra, may be. I don't take drugs because the extra highs don't worth the consequences. More importantly, those highs are not "real" to me. It seems like a bit of virtual reality, cheating yourself. Similarly for alcohol, I enjoy it as the best drink accompanying food. I do lost a bit of inhibition with it. But I don't want to let lose of myself through alcohol, I want to let go by myself, I want to be in control.

I know Tantra is different, it's not material but more like spiritual. But I last long enough and my orgasms are pretty good. I have partners for mutual enjoyment, and I also pick partners for my sole enjoyment. Like work, I have to pick battles to fight, but Tantra isn't one of it.

My kind of technique is, do it like teens from time to time, with a good diet and plenty of beauty sleep, I can become invincible. I was in that state once when a girl tested me by trying to blow me to completion. She took failure gracefully. Other times, I was being over estimated, exploding all over the opponent.