Friday, April 22, 2016


A corner in the nightclub
I sit alone with the darkness as company
A few tables away
There is a pair of young lovers

The nightclub is now playing
A song that you used to hum
My broken heart is broken again
Alone, I slump into dispair
I close my eyes thinking of the past

Absolute emptiness
Like a ruin, nobody touches me
Absolute emptiness
My love, to whom do you belong tonight?

I still love you
I never blame you
My love for you never expires
I still love you
But without you
The world becomes bland all at once

I wish I have no past
I wish I have no memory
Never think of you again

Angel Face is really something. I don't remember a tall blond satisfying me in so many ways. But ... it seems to only last a day. My mind is on Helen again.

Don't be mistaken. If you put them side by side, I still have a hard time picking. I want them both. The problem is, Angel Face showed signs of retreat. On average, these girls last a month to a few. I forgot about this because I remembered that she is around for a few months now? And when we were pillow talking, she sounded to be local, working about once a week with a proper job. This seems to be the normal story for everybody. And she bothered to do the pillow talk, looking like she wanted regulars.

But still, even if they are local, they may not put themselves out for long. Some do not have enough clients, and it's not worth their while. They may take a break for months at a time. Helen is obviously local, but she is around for half a year now. Will she disappear all of a sudden?

Now without Angel Face, I will be defenceless. So what do I do? I actually found another tall blond, looking very delicious. I can't see her face, I don't know her work history. But still I want to book her. Extraordinary times need extraordinary moves. But she wasn't interested in talking about tomorrow.

I wanted to appeal to the queen bee with a concise and precise message. But it ended up a wall of text. Deal with it! She must have received it. There is no reply to my surrender or to my surprise attack.

In the end, Helen needs to be involved. So if she hasn't turn up yet the queen bee has to ignore me. But if the queen bee already know that the answer is no, she could be torturing me. Ignore is more polite than refusal. Ignore is worse than rejection.

The bottomline is that it only matters to Helen if she turn up for work. She didn't turn up yesterday anywhere. She may be the hidden battleon with the expedition force. She may not need to advertise at all. Next week will be clear. But then the whole gang may do a west coast tour!

Why would I bother with this rollcoaster feeling? It's free! The failed projects never bothered me and never cost me much. If I need a good fuck I can always back to Helen. Feelings keep you feeling alive. RIP Prince.

My love, to whom do you belong tonight? I am jealous of Chanel's more VIP clients. But I never have this feeling of who she is fucking tonight. Maybe I got over it long ago because she was a failed project for a long time. And she's not that good a fuck. She doesn't blow well. I can do rough sex but not rough flatironing and the like. But I need a delicously beautiful woman. I was happy with what she has to offer.

I do wonder who is fucking Helen tonight. It's like the feeling of kids fighting for toys. I'm not fighting. I'm just want to fight for a fair share.

I can easily forget about Chanel with Helen or Angel. Angel has long legs, Helen's a killer pair. Chanel's pair is weak but her expensive collection of heels can't be beaten. Helen can blow your mind off. Angel can take flatironing like a dress, though she has the delicate look too. I think these two girls are interchangeable. I just didn't have to chance to do everything. Helen or Angel may even be prettier than Chanel. Angel actually has more than an angel face, that of a victoria's secret European model. Helen is Kendall Jenner. But Chanel knows how to makeup without looking like it. And she is neat down to each eyebrow hair, flawless beauty, but not without expensive makeup. She has killer eyes, maybe enhanced though.

Now I can do nothing except to book the girl whose name I can't remember for now. I hope she will be around tomorrow. This will make my weekend better.

Intrigue ahead! I did Angel on Thu. But the high lasted for one day. To avoid an absolute empty weekend, I was still looking. In the late afternoon I discovered a young delicious blond. I wanted to hit her today but she was gone. She is great to take a sovenior picture together and then edit out the face. That cost extra.

I should have hit her yesterday. This morning there's nothing. Then all of a sudden in the late afternoon, a girl came up with all legs. There's pictures of nothing else except legs and a fashionable jacket. Come on, how many girls have Kendall Jenner's legs? The age is different and the claimed height is different. So is Angel, claiming to be 5" shorter. I think this is a bat signal.

I'm responding to the call no matter what. But today is just too tired. Now I know I did a lot on Thu with Angel. But if that's Helen, there's no need to rush and she isn't going away any time soon.

I always know girls don't show their face for many reasons. If they have two tier fees, they have to look like two different people.

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